Are You Making Your Country Poorer?

This post is a special dedication to all the bitter, ever-complaining, dissatisfied housewives.. who were once my school buddies, university comrades, and work colleagues, but have chosen to stay at home after marriage.

Sorry, all. You have always found me to be your comforting pillow.. always an attentive listener, with whom you can split your pains, and someone you can always count on for relief. You've always found me to have a great ability to sympathize, or even empathize. I realize the amount of your shock at my sudden loss of those abilities, and I understand how painful this could be at times, especially when it adds up to your bitterness and misery. I'm sorry, gals.. I can't do it.. Not when it comes to this.. and certainly not when you are responsible adults who are supposed to be accountable for your decisions.

I've always understood your weaknesses, and swallowed your follies.. being careful not to criticize you or blame you until you are totally in the right mood for thinking and re-evaluating your acts. I was extra gentle with matters of the heart.. less with life-defining decisions.. yet constantly focusing on absorbing your pain and frustration. I am still the same. Only one thing is too many for me.. and that is when you complain that you are stuck in a bad marriage, having to stick to a tight budget (complaining about the high cost of living), and that you can't help transferring your anger unto your kids! Now, that's way too much. I can't absorb that.. and you'd better be ready to find your emotional sponge turn rock-solid.

Again and again I say.. there is a huge difference between being a victim and being a criminal. Turning into a criminal because you've been yourself victimized is not a good excuse to get out with, for one.. and won't change the fact that now you've become a criminal. So, be an adult and face it. You made a huge mistake.. and even if the whole world deceived you into thinking that you did your family a favor, you can not deceive yourself, especially after seeing all of those disasters that you are causing everyone around you.. in addition to harming your country as well.

I seriously don't get it! You said that your family needs all your time, so that's why you don't need a job.. then you complain of loneliness and the huge spare time you are never able to fill! You said that your husband has got a handsome income that would make your slim salary seem ridiculous, that's why you're better off without your work.. then you complain that prices are rising and that your budget is getting tighter! You said that work for women is not primary.. then you envy your ex-colleagues whenever one of them gets promoted or whenever you see one of'em on TV! You just turned into one of those horrible women you once hated and criticized. You are searching for the faults in others to prove that nobody is perfect, as if this will calm you deep inside, instead of trying to improve your life or make it a happier one.


Anyway, if a woman makes this choice, it won't be logical of her to expect sympathy from others. Believe me, it is not because the other busy bees out there are too envious of a coach potato. Those who told you this tale are the ones responsible for your misery. Simply, I can't forgive you for adding up to the poverty of our country. Yeah, that's right. You are making this country poorer.. so at least do not complain, baby.

Belonging to the third world is not like being a member in a club. A country earns its place in the so-called third world because it belongs there.. it is poor, has a slow development rate, and does not contribute much (if any) to global economy or development (for example, in scientific research). Hence, if a country does what you do.. that is, become dependent on other productive countries.. it fits into the third world. And as long as half the population in those countries think the way you do, then those countries have got zero chance in improvement.


To be able to imagine how weak our production rate is, I'll just give a couple of examples.. The average productivity of an Egyptian citizen is estimated to be around 1000$ a year.. and it tends to be fixed around this figure through many years.. while in Israel for example, a citizen produces the equivalent of 15000$/year.. And in a country which used to belong to the third world only a few years ago like Singapore, this amount reaches 45000$ per capita.. meaning that the productivity of the Singaporean citizen is 45 times as much as that of his Egyptian counterpart!! Now, where can this get us for God's sake?


It is as simple as this.. there are 78 million Egyptians.. half of them are brought up to think that their primary role in life is to reproduce and serve their households. Then the whole population is dependent on the other half to feed them and satisfy their basic needs.. How lovely!

By sitting at home, you are just turning into a huge burden on economy. You keep adding to this burden when you keep getting more children to keep yourself occupied at home. The end result is more poverty and misery for thousands. Urban women are the worst of the lot.. they are not productive at all. A rural woman bakes her own bread, plants her vegetables, raises chicken, sews clothes...etc. While all what urban women do is consume, consume, consume. Not only do they consume goods.. but also endless hours on the phone and in front of TV to keep themselves entertained. They consume energy.. which (in case you don't know) is becoming rarer and rarer, and is expected to be the number one reason behind endless wars to come.

So, back to urban women.. What do they produce? What is their share in the national income? Zero.

The government has contributed to this crisis when it failed to provide adequate daycare service to help their female employees stay in the workforce; hence, making it easier for the private sector to get away without having any obligation towards female workers. Why on earth would a company owner bother to provide a service that the government itself does not require or care to provide? The ridiculous alternative of the 2 years maternal leave (in the public sector) only means that those women do not actually work, or else how would 2 years of absence be OK with them? Those women then return (if they ever do) to resume their work in the same position they occupied before their leave, falling back behind their colleagues who got their promotions on time. The private sector is even worse.. it gives a maternal leave of 3 months, after which you can bid your job goodbye. Most probably what a woman pays for daycare and transportation to be able to carry on this daily tour (home-daycare-work-daycare-home) will be enough to swallow her full income. Thus, she finds herself compelled to stay at home with her baby.


Now, let's do the maths to find out why Egypt continues to be a poor country.

1- With the gender gap in favor of males in literacy rates, we have to confront the fact that only 59.4% of females could read and write, 93% of which complete the primary stage, while only 67% attend secondary school.
2- Only 23% of women join the labor force.. they make 22% of the total labor force in Egypt.
3- Of those women in the labor force (23%), only 22.6% hold a university degree, (which means that only 5% of Egyptian women are highly educated working citizens! Freakish!) 16% of those are in administrative posts, and 28% hold professional and technical posts.

Aside from those horrifying figures, one might think that a crisis of this magnitude must be a top priority while designing reform programs.. yet, unfortunately, we can not count on that.

In her "Egypt: A Poverty Profile," Professor Mahassen Mostafa Hassanin says:

Reform programs tend to work to the benefit of men than to the benefit of women. Macroeconomic policies concentrate on the reallocation of resources to achieve both stability and growth rather than on microeconomic issues and gender differentiation. Development programs usually address males while neglecting females.

Not only so, but the pop culture is another huge obstacle, acting as a strong barrier, preventing girls from aspiring to play an active role in society. And I quote again from the same source:

Equality and equity among males and females represents the cornerstone of this new development paradigm which concentrates on sustainability of the development process and this requires changing the prevailing social paradigm, and re-educating men and women on how to work together to create a more humanitarian world order.

On why Egyptian women would ever consider having a job , Professor Hassanin says:

The pattern of women in the development process is controversial. Women devote nearly all their income to the welfare of their family and still have to comply with the constraints of their gender role in the society. This makes the cost of their participation in the development process rather excessive.

And that is so true.. Women are rather pushed into the workforce than deciding to join it out of a personal will.. They lack empowerment, ambition and a sound environment which might inspire them to be productive citizens.

For further elaboration on this point, let's check out what was in a paper called "Women and Poverty," by Ms. Sahar Nasr, as part of the Joint Report of the National Council for Women and the World Bank (2003).. In her research on women headed households, Nasr has found that most of those women are widowed. Which means that as long as there is a man at home, poor women would never consider having a job.

Poverty has Higher Price for Women and Girls. While poverty per se is not a gender concern, women, along with their children, tend to be more vulnerable to poverty than men.

Poor women often face a triple disadvantage:

•Heavy reproductive burden and their non-market contributions are often not recognized—undervaluing a significant part of their economic contributions.
•Social concerns may also limited women’s access to labor market and the type of jobs from which they can choose.
•Finally, women generally have lower educational achievements, reducing their earnings ability.

Do you realize now that you can not just sit there and complain? Your country needs you, because you are one of the very few young, healthy, well-educated women who expected to be productive, and any development would simply not happen as long as you insist on throwing all your education and personal skills against the wall and sitting there doing nothing.

BE RESPONSIBLE.. ACT RESPONSIBLE.. DO SOMETHING FOR THE FUTURE OF YOUR KIDS.. STOP MAKING YOUR COUNTRY POORER

Egyptian Men.. Wutz Up with You?

Egypt men say 'I don't' to woman marriage registrar

CAIRO (AFP) — The appointment this week of Egypt's first woman able to conduct Muslim marriages has sparked controversy in the religious country, particularly from men who see their status being challenged.

Amal Soliman, 32, is the first woman in the Middle East and possibly the Muslim world to be authorised to perform wedding ceremonies and sign marriage and divorce contracts.
Straddling the worlds of bureaucracy and religion -- two pillars of Egyptian society -- the graduate in civil and criminal law said she is "more qualified" than her colleagues to perform the function of "maazun".

Justice Minister Mamduh Mari stressed that Soliman's nomination depended on her abilities rather than on her gender, but it has raised eyebrows and anger on the streets in the male-dominated Arab country.

"I completely reject the idea," Mahmud Ali, a bearded 40-year-old, told AFP in Cairo. "There must be religious texts forbidding this... there are also obstacles on a social level, she would always take the woman's side."

"This idea won't spread, it's a one-off and it won't last."
Ahmed Abdel Rehim declared simply: "A woman cannot do this job. I would never have a female maazun at my wedding."

But officials, eager to portray an image of equality, welcomed the decision.
"I'm not shocked at all, it's a purely legal job, reading Koranic verses and conducting a marriage," said Ali Saman, former head of Al-Azhar University's religious dialogue committee.
"A maazun is a judicial assistant, a notary... so it's a job that women can do."

In 2005, US-based Amina Wadud sparked controversy in the Muslim world, including in Egypt, when she led prayers in New York, with some clerics saying it went against Islamic doctrine.
"A female imam (who leads prayers in a mosque) is different, that's to be debated by specialists but a female maazun who signs and officialises a marriage certificate there's no problem," he said.

"There are no religious texts banning a Muslim woman from being a maazun," said Al-Azhar's deputy director Sheikh Fawzi Zafzaf. "But when a woman is menstruating she must not enter a mosque or read Koranic verses and that will affect her job, so for this reason we say it is not advisable to have a woman maazun."

Women's rights in Egypt have a long and occasionally rocky history. Egyptian women were allowed to vote and stand for office in 1956. But they are notable in their absence from Egyptian courtrooms, even those dealing with family law. A first group of 30 women judges was authorised to practice in March 2007.

"Islam guarantees women's rights, whatever is said about the inferiority of women is a lie," said Zafzaf.

"Why not support women?" said Shawkiya Rawash, in her 50s. "If she can be an example to follow, if she manages to do her job well, why not? I'm in favour."
.................................................................................


And I'm in favor too, Shawkiya. Thank you so much. But, you know what? Egyptian men seem to have got issues with this..

Now, let's speak seriously, please guys. What's up with you, men? Huh?

Al-Azhar seems to me to be so messed up on this subject. And unfortunately, I've been one miserable victim who watched this issue being debated live on Egyptian TV. Gotta tell you.. I just felt SICK of all the biased trash I heard.

I've talked about this before in my comment on EFC's first post here. And I told her about Al-Azhar's unjustified objection to the court sentence in this case back then. This woman, Amal Soliman, has earned her basic rights through a long needless battle with the justice system. And even after that, the judge was reluctant, and he insisted that an official approval by the Fatwa Committee of Al-Azhar is a must for Amal to get her legal rights in holding her job.

I saw Amal Soliman on TV.. She is such a decent woman, and she has got all what it takes to have this job. She holds a masters degree in law, and her work experience has enabled her to beat 10 male candidates in order to become maazun. Moreover, she faced lots of unjustifiable complications, and was deprived of her right to start practicing her new job. But she didn't give up. She fought for her right. She filed a lawsuit against her employers, and got a court sentence in her favor. So.. Why the hell had Al-Azhar's committee denied her permission to get that job, and why the hell did they suddenly change their minds?

And please allow me to ask, WHAT THE HELL is Al-Azhar's deputy director saying?!!

I'm sorry. With all my respect to Al-Azhar and its men.. But this man doesn't seem to make any sense in his speech. And I am sorry to repeat his meaningless and contradictory statements down here.

He said, "There are no religious texts banning a Muslim woman from being a maazun."
Right.. Then why did Al-Azhar reject Mrs. Soliman's request the first time? And how can they forbid what God Himself has not forbidden? How can anyone dare to ban something, on religious basis, although God has never banned it?

OK.. Let's assume that they realized they were mistaken. Now, check out what Sheikh Zafzaf says right after: "But when a woman is menstruating she must not enter a mosque or read Koranic verses and that will affect her job, so for this reason we say it is not advisable to have a woman maazun."

Wait a minute! Did I just read this again? I really wish this is just a bad dream.. But did this man actually say "it is not advisable to have a woman maazun"? Come on! Are we kidding here or what?

Or.. Are we playing some kind of a very old game that men are never tired of playing? They give you something by one hand, and take it by the other.

Zafzaf, haven't you learned in Al-Azhar that lying is haram? I mean, this is a lesson we learn in 1st primary.. Yet, in your case, I assume that lying is not a good thing to do at all, since you are Al-Azhar's deputy director! Who are you speaking to please now? God or society?.. Or the beduin patriarchal society, to be more specific?

Zafzaf, you know that the maazun's job has got nothing to do with the mosque. And you know that the prayers said at the wedding are part of the cermony, not the legal process of writing and officiating the marriage certificate. Thus, you are misleading people - on purpose - to make them believe that this woman will actually hold the hands of the groom and the bride's father under a white handkerchief to recite the usual lines said at the wedding ceremony. Isn't this a lie Zafzaf? Aren't you twisting facts A LOT here? Isn't this a very bad and cheap con job?

And then you dare say, "whatever is said about the inferiority of women is a lie"!!.. Man, you've just said that this woman's period will affect her job!

Now, this is a double lie. You've discriminated against this woman, and all other women who would want to have the same job.. You've told people not to hire this woman for their weddings, for God's sake! And then you go ahead saying "the inferiority of women is a lie"?! That's way too much.. Seriously.

Zafzaf.. I'm sorry, but you don't belong to a respectable religious institution like Al-Azhar. You rather belong with some male chauvinistic movement . You are a disgrace to the position you hold, really. You deform Islam to satisfy your male buddies.

Thumbs down Azhar!.. Both thumbs down!.. And I will tell all my family and friends to hire this woman for their weddings. Shame on you men.


* I'd like to thank Raaasa for inspiring this post and providing the AFP link

Desperate Housewives

Have you ever imagined yourself, after tying yourself up to your desk to study for long, endless hours to get a high score in thanawya ama; after all those sleepless nights when your nervous system is about to crash in order to pass your exams every years; after you finally secure a place in a decent college; after you spend the years struggling through the heat and the traffic to get to your class on time; after you put up with all the cruel professors and fight long battles with the fat textbooks; after you finally hold your university degree in your hand; have you ever imagined yourself to become a housewife?

Don't say something like, "Oh, no way. I'm not crazy to do that. I want to have a career and anyone who decides to marry me has to understand that." Because most of the women who ended up at home didn't have it as their childhood dream. And please don't say, "Well, I deserve some rest after this suffering." Because you weren't being tortured, you were being educated. And if you don't value your education, it means you learned nothing. I beg you don't say, "Why not? If my husband is rich and we can live comfortably on his salary. Why do I need a job?" Because people don't only work for money. It is society's right to benefit from your abilities, besides it being a basic psychological need for acquiring self-worth.

A question that has been recently asked a lot is: Where are all the female honor students? Where have all the female top scorers of thanawya ama gone? The fact that the majority of A+ students over the several past years were females, made many people wonder about the fate of those "geniuses". All those top students whose photographs were published in all newspapers, who were featured in TV shows, who filled the world with hopes and dreams for the future, have then disappeared.

A survey done recently by an independent newspaper has shown that 80% of those girls are now housewives, while the others are working routine jobs, that are devoid of any mental challenges and don't require any special talents, just cause their jobs' hours are suitable for them as "working mothers" (whatever that means). That's where the brilliant girls end up in this country. In a third world country that needs every possible mind to save it from the ditch it has sunk into. In a country where half the population is illiterate. In a country that is fighting for development to escape the jaws of poverty. In a country that doesn't manufacture any heavy material, or medicine, or high tech equipments. In a country that is being attacked by diseases. In a country that is falling into the darkness of religious extremism and ignorance.

Those girls are of two types, in my opinion. 1- They are quitters. They simply don't respect the knowledge they gained or the talent they possess. They don't care about the future of their country. They don't want to play any role in changing their society. They are not smart. They are girls with no character or aims, who happened to score high grades to please their family and to brag about it. Our country wastes its money in educating those quitters and giving them the best opportunities just so that after graduation they will stick out their tongues and say "Game over, we're done. We're staying home cause we found the perfect grooms who liked our high scores and think we are intelligent." 2- They are hypnotized. They were deceived by society and by their husbands to believe that their roles as wives and mothers are enough. They heard it over and over again, that a good mother serves society by taking care of the new generations. Yeah, looool.. The new generations indeed. Doesn't matter if those new generations find no decent education. Doesn't matter if those new generations suffer from poverty and diseases. Doesn't matter if those new generations have no jobs. Doesn't matter if they feel ashamed of their origins to be born in a weak country. Doesn't matter if they find it impossible to achieve any dreams. Doesn't matter at all. What is important is to have the new generations. Let them be whatever they want to be after that. Let them beg in the streets. Let them do drugs. Let them flee the country or sink in a ship trying to get to Europe. Let them commit suicide cause they got hopeless. Let them turn into terrorists to help Bin Laden. Let them hang out aimlessly in the streets to pass the time. Let them harass the girls in public transportation cause they have no hope of marrying one day. Let them have their turn in giving birth to a new more miserable generation. That's life, heh?

Either quitters or hypnotized, those girls, now women, turn into desperate housewives. They spent their whole lives trying to please their parents and then their husbands. Most of them are unaware of not having any life of their own. They are the ones who eat the burnt cookies; they always come last. They didn't learn to value themselves, or their minds, that's why they can't value positive social roles. They live in the tiny shell of their families, without caring to see what's beyond. They do as they are told, the obedient kittens in the house. They end up living like single moms, cause their husbands will never think about giving a hand with the home or with the kids. What's she doing sitting all day at home? It's her job. Let her handle everything, and if anything went wrong, it's only her to blame. She's there for the kids 24/7, so the kids should have the highest grades at school, they should be disciplined and quiet when dad's at home. If they ever misbehave, it's her fault. The father then becomes a bank. He's out there making money for the dependents at home. Being the bank, means that he has the right to have everything exactly the way he likes, he doesn't care how, it's not his job. He only finances the process, and he has absolutely no interests to learn about details. He doesn't care how many damn hours you spent in the kitchen to prepare his meal, he just cares that it doesn't taste good enough for him. It has to be perfect. You are there to make it perfect. He paid for all the grocery to eat a perfect meal. Damn you. You ruined it. And so those desperate housewives would grow exhausted and bitter. Their bitterness becomes reflected in everything, even if they do their best to satisfy everybody. Cause they forgot to satisfy the main person: themselves. As years pass, they become fat, ill-dressed, shallow, nervous, unable to feel happiness, unable to appreciate life, unable to communicate with their children, unable to please their husbands, unable to have sex, unable to practice a hobby or have serious interests. They get lost in the tiny details of daily life and their only quality time is watching TV. The weekend becomes a nightmare, cause the man is there to criticize all day and nag about everything. An outing at the club turns into her being a watch guard for the kids. She goes out for their sake, she doesn't have any fun. The summer vacation is even worse, she worries about packing, cleaning the chalet, taking kids toys and sandwiches to the beach, watching them play in the water with their dad (What? do you want her to wear a swimsuit to join them? Are you crazy? Let her just watch or read a tabloid magazine) , having them bathed after that, preparing a meal for the hungry swimmers, preparing snacks for the evening, washing the swimsuits and towels, and so on and so forth. She doesn't enjoy a single minute during this time. She is there to make their time enjoyable. She is there so that they can have pure fun, while she is sucked up in all those details that are consuming her life.

Look around you, you'll find those desperate housewives everywhere. They are the typical image of Egyptian women. They get all the criticism in spite of sacrificing everything for those they love. Your sister can be one of them, if you don't pay attention to her turning into a quitter or a hypnotized. Your mother can be one of them, and you blame her for everything, from being nosy to not having your favorite shirt clean on time. Your wife can be one of them, if you selfishly seek to make her another image of your mother. (Most men don't know the difference between the role of a mother and that of a wife, thus they are so naïve while starting their own families. They want a second mother to be dependant on, not a partner to share their lives with.) Your daughter can become one of them as well, if you are setting the wrong example for her and sacrificing what she can become for the sake of how society wants her to become.

Changing the picture is in our hands. Instead of packing our reality with all those desperate housewives, let's offer them something different. Let's teach the girls to love themselves and to realise their true potential. Let's build their self-esteem and encourage them to pursue their own goals. Let's teach them how to be useful citizens and to take part in developing their country. Let's talk to all the females we know about the value of work and how it secures a better future for them as individuals and as family members. Let's not tolerate a quitter among us and make her always feel that she's escaping her responsibilities. Let's not leave a hypnotized to dwell in her imagined world, but inspire her to lead a complete life. It all starts with you, right now.

A Must Read

THE FEMININE MISTAKE: Are We Giving Up Too Much?
By Leslie Bennetts

“The Feminine Mistake” is an energetic call to mothers to stay in the work force and earn their own living — or suffer the consequences. It's been featured in the New York Times Bestsellers' list.

Bennetts rallies numbers and logical reasons to her cause:

1. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and while a man’s standard of living actually rises after divorce, a woman’s falls.

2. The average age of widowhood is 55. Women live longer than men, yet typically have far less money for retirement.

3. Even a brief timeout reduces a mom’s earning power.

4. Child-care concerns fade as quickly as children grow up, but lost career momentum is gone forever.

As Bennetts asks, “If your husband divorces you or drops dead, was it really such a great idea to stay home if you can’t afford to buy groceries to feed your kids?”
This ambitious book sets out to replace choice feminism (the revisionist view that says as long as women are happy with their decisions about balancing work and motherhood, it doesn’t matter what those decisions are) with the ethos that giving up paid work is not just another legitimate option among many, but a serious error. Bennetts hopes to sidestep the emotion that has dominated the debate and persuade women to change this self-destructive behavior.

I certainly hope to see a book like this on the Egyptian Market. We truly need to help women resist the societal pressure which drives them to quit their jobs.

On Marriage and Slavery

Wife and servant are the same,
But only differ in the name.
_ Lady Mary Chudleigh

It's true. And it is amazing that when it comes to this fact, wives of today are no different than those of the Middle Ages. By signing a marriage contract, a woman is signing her bond of slavery. Although the terms are not written, yet every woman knows them and works on fulfilling them. The title Mrs. Nobody doesn't come for free. A wife throws away her human rights at the doorstep of her husband's home. She then becomes a lifelong servant, offering her services for free. She will cook, clean, do the laundry, wash the dishes, make the bed, sweep the floor, prepare dinner for his guests, sews his buttons, iron his shirts, sends his suits to the dry clean, arranges his messy side of the closet, buys him underwear, … an endless list.

This does not imply that the husband has no role to play at home. Who eats what she cooks? Who leaves the dirty dishes on the table to fly to the kitchen sink? Who throws his dirty clothes all over the room? Who eats snacks in front of TV and leaves the bits for insects (he doesn't forget to feed them, poor creatures)? Who turns every place he uses for 5 minutes into a mess which needs a day to clean? Who stains the carpets? Who keeps demanding beverages while sitting on the couch? Come on.. he doesn't stop doing things all day. And wait.. it doesn't stop here. Of course we won't forget his favorite hobby.. criticism! "This meat is too hard, where did you get it from?" "The rice isn't well cooked!" "Where are my brown socks?" "Is the white shirt still in the laundry?" "What took you so long? I'm starving." "You've gained weight." "Why don't you take care of yourself as you used to before marriage?" Bla bla bla bla..

Doesn't matter what career a woman has. She can be a doctor, engineer, scientist, whatever.. but she has to be a good housekeeper before all that. Her career, no matter how prestigious, no matter how successful she is at it, will always be secondary.. not only to her husband, but to the patriarchal society he represents. If she is not a good servant, she is not a good wife. Her job is seen as leisure, a thing to pass the time when her husband is out at work, a bless she should thank her husband for approving of. Cause marriage also entitles the ownership of the wife by her master. He can give her the gift of having a job and he can take it away if he thinks that he's not getting the quality of service he desires. He therefore never encourages his wife to take her work seriously (if she happens to work). The rules for this leisure are set from the beginning: she can't stay late at work (preferably arrive home before him), she must take the kids to school in the morning (doesn't matter of she arroves late at work everyday), she isn't allowed to travel, she must return home full of energy to go on with her chores, she can't attend training in the afternoon, she can't take work with her to complete at home… etc. How can any person succeed with all those limitations?

There is no way better to end this post than this: "Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder." _ Thornton Wilder