Are You Making Your Country Poorer?

This post is a special dedication to all the bitter, ever-complaining, dissatisfied housewives.. who were once my school buddies, university comrades, and work colleagues, but have chosen to stay at home after marriage.

Sorry, all. You have always found me to be your comforting pillow.. always an attentive listener, with whom you can split your pains, and someone you can always count on for relief. You've always found me to have a great ability to sympathize, or even empathize. I realize the amount of your shock at my sudden loss of those abilities, and I understand how painful this could be at times, especially when it adds up to your bitterness and misery. I'm sorry, gals.. I can't do it.. Not when it comes to this.. and certainly not when you are responsible adults who are supposed to be accountable for your decisions.

I've always understood your weaknesses, and swallowed your follies.. being careful not to criticize you or blame you until you are totally in the right mood for thinking and re-evaluating your acts. I was extra gentle with matters of the heart.. less with life-defining decisions.. yet constantly focusing on absorbing your pain and frustration. I am still the same. Only one thing is too many for me.. and that is when you complain that you are stuck in a bad marriage, having to stick to a tight budget (complaining about the high cost of living), and that you can't help transferring your anger unto your kids! Now, that's way too much. I can't absorb that.. and you'd better be ready to find your emotional sponge turn rock-solid.

Again and again I say.. there is a huge difference between being a victim and being a criminal. Turning into a criminal because you've been yourself victimized is not a good excuse to get out with, for one.. and won't change the fact that now you've become a criminal. So, be an adult and face it. You made a huge mistake.. and even if the whole world deceived you into thinking that you did your family a favor, you can not deceive yourself, especially after seeing all of those disasters that you are causing everyone around you.. in addition to harming your country as well.

I seriously don't get it! You said that your family needs all your time, so that's why you don't need a job.. then you complain of loneliness and the huge spare time you are never able to fill! You said that your husband has got a handsome income that would make your slim salary seem ridiculous, that's why you're better off without your work.. then you complain that prices are rising and that your budget is getting tighter! You said that work for women is not primary.. then you envy your ex-colleagues whenever one of them gets promoted or whenever you see one of'em on TV! You just turned into one of those horrible women you once hated and criticized. You are searching for the faults in others to prove that nobody is perfect, as if this will calm you deep inside, instead of trying to improve your life or make it a happier one.


Anyway, if a woman makes this choice, it won't be logical of her to expect sympathy from others. Believe me, it is not because the other busy bees out there are too envious of a coach potato. Those who told you this tale are the ones responsible for your misery. Simply, I can't forgive you for adding up to the poverty of our country. Yeah, that's right. You are making this country poorer.. so at least do not complain, baby.

Belonging to the third world is not like being a member in a club. A country earns its place in the so-called third world because it belongs there.. it is poor, has a slow development rate, and does not contribute much (if any) to global economy or development (for example, in scientific research). Hence, if a country does what you do.. that is, become dependent on other productive countries.. it fits into the third world. And as long as half the population in those countries think the way you do, then those countries have got zero chance in improvement.


To be able to imagine how weak our production rate is, I'll just give a couple of examples.. The average productivity of an Egyptian citizen is estimated to be around 1000$ a year.. and it tends to be fixed around this figure through many years.. while in Israel for example, a citizen produces the equivalent of 15000$/year.. And in a country which used to belong to the third world only a few years ago like Singapore, this amount reaches 45000$ per capita.. meaning that the productivity of the Singaporean citizen is 45 times as much as that of his Egyptian counterpart!! Now, where can this get us for God's sake?


It is as simple as this.. there are 78 million Egyptians.. half of them are brought up to think that their primary role in life is to reproduce and serve their households. Then the whole population is dependent on the other half to feed them and satisfy their basic needs.. How lovely!

By sitting at home, you are just turning into a huge burden on economy. You keep adding to this burden when you keep getting more children to keep yourself occupied at home. The end result is more poverty and misery for thousands. Urban women are the worst of the lot.. they are not productive at all. A rural woman bakes her own bread, plants her vegetables, raises chicken, sews clothes...etc. While all what urban women do is consume, consume, consume. Not only do they consume goods.. but also endless hours on the phone and in front of TV to keep themselves entertained. They consume energy.. which (in case you don't know) is becoming rarer and rarer, and is expected to be the number one reason behind endless wars to come.

So, back to urban women.. What do they produce? What is their share in the national income? Zero.

The government has contributed to this crisis when it failed to provide adequate daycare service to help their female employees stay in the workforce; hence, making it easier for the private sector to get away without having any obligation towards female workers. Why on earth would a company owner bother to provide a service that the government itself does not require or care to provide? The ridiculous alternative of the 2 years maternal leave (in the public sector) only means that those women do not actually work, or else how would 2 years of absence be OK with them? Those women then return (if they ever do) to resume their work in the same position they occupied before their leave, falling back behind their colleagues who got their promotions on time. The private sector is even worse.. it gives a maternal leave of 3 months, after which you can bid your job goodbye. Most probably what a woman pays for daycare and transportation to be able to carry on this daily tour (home-daycare-work-daycare-home) will be enough to swallow her full income. Thus, she finds herself compelled to stay at home with her baby.


Now, let's do the maths to find out why Egypt continues to be a poor country.

1- With the gender gap in favor of males in literacy rates, we have to confront the fact that only 59.4% of females could read and write, 93% of which complete the primary stage, while only 67% attend secondary school.
2- Only 23% of women join the labor force.. they make 22% of the total labor force in Egypt.
3- Of those women in the labor force (23%), only 22.6% hold a university degree, (which means that only 5% of Egyptian women are highly educated working citizens! Freakish!) 16% of those are in administrative posts, and 28% hold professional and technical posts.

Aside from those horrifying figures, one might think that a crisis of this magnitude must be a top priority while designing reform programs.. yet, unfortunately, we can not count on that.

In her "Egypt: A Poverty Profile," Professor Mahassen Mostafa Hassanin says:

Reform programs tend to work to the benefit of men than to the benefit of women. Macroeconomic policies concentrate on the reallocation of resources to achieve both stability and growth rather than on microeconomic issues and gender differentiation. Development programs usually address males while neglecting females.

Not only so, but the pop culture is another huge obstacle, acting as a strong barrier, preventing girls from aspiring to play an active role in society. And I quote again from the same source:

Equality and equity among males and females represents the cornerstone of this new development paradigm which concentrates on sustainability of the development process and this requires changing the prevailing social paradigm, and re-educating men and women on how to work together to create a more humanitarian world order.

On why Egyptian women would ever consider having a job , Professor Hassanin says:

The pattern of women in the development process is controversial. Women devote nearly all their income to the welfare of their family and still have to comply with the constraints of their gender role in the society. This makes the cost of their participation in the development process rather excessive.

And that is so true.. Women are rather pushed into the workforce than deciding to join it out of a personal will.. They lack empowerment, ambition and a sound environment which might inspire them to be productive citizens.

For further elaboration on this point, let's check out what was in a paper called "Women and Poverty," by Ms. Sahar Nasr, as part of the Joint Report of the National Council for Women and the World Bank (2003).. In her research on women headed households, Nasr has found that most of those women are widowed. Which means that as long as there is a man at home, poor women would never consider having a job.

Poverty has Higher Price for Women and Girls. While poverty per se is not a gender concern, women, along with their children, tend to be more vulnerable to poverty than men.

Poor women often face a triple disadvantage:

•Heavy reproductive burden and their non-market contributions are often not recognized—undervaluing a significant part of their economic contributions.
•Social concerns may also limited women’s access to labor market and the type of jobs from which they can choose.
•Finally, women generally have lower educational achievements, reducing their earnings ability.

Do you realize now that you can not just sit there and complain? Your country needs you, because you are one of the very few young, healthy, well-educated women who expected to be productive, and any development would simply not happen as long as you insist on throwing all your education and personal skills against the wall and sitting there doing nothing.

BE RESPONSIBLE.. ACT RESPONSIBLE.. DO SOMETHING FOR THE FUTURE OF YOUR KIDS.. STOP MAKING YOUR COUNTRY POORER

Noha Roshdy

Yesterday, I read about a brave girl from upper Egypt called Bikhyta, who was attacked by a wolf and kept struggling with it for 3 hours, during which she lost 2 of her fingers.. yet in the end, Bikhyta was able to slay the wolf.. all on her own.

Today, all the Egyptian newspapers feature another female hero of a very special kind on their headlines.. She is Noha Roshdy, a young director of documentaries who had been harassed by a truck driver while walking home with her friend Hend about 6 months ago. The human-wolf stretched his arm out of the truck while slowing beside Noha and grabbed her breasts so violently that she almost fainted out of pain and fell onto the sidewalk while screaming hysterically. He then simply smiled at her and drove off!

Thanks to the traffic in Cairo, that animal couldn't go any far. And of course, he took it for granted that Noha will be lucky if she just managed to escape a nervous breakdown. He assumed that the best she could do is rise up and continue her walk home, carrying all the shame and pain, and probably going to the first pillow to weep. It never crossed his mind that Noha is not that kind of girl. To his amazement, he found Noha rising up like a tigress, chasing his truck, and jumping over the driver's cabin to force him to pull off and get out. She succeeded! And she held him by the collar determined to take him to the police station to charge him of sexually harassing her.

The reactions that Noha got were just unbelievable, and I highly recommend that this would be the subject of serious studies by Egyptian sociologists and psychiatrics.

Imagine that the harasser himself, the truck driver, thought Noha was crazy! He couldn't understand why a girl would jeopardize her life in such a way just to get hold of someone who grabbed her breasts! See? That's what we were talking about girls.. your passiveness in dealing with harassment caused you to be taken for granted in such a humiliating way! The good old wisdom of laissez-passer proved to be not good, huh. That's the way you are viewed by harassers out there.. for them, you are not the polite girl who couldn't get herself to face her attacker because she is a shy cute virgin! You are just a whore who has to shut up after being sexually assaulted. That's who you are.

Noha's shock did not stop there.. For, of course a crowd quickly gathered out of curiosity to see what all the screaming was about. Some of them had witnessed the incident from the start. Yet, Noha says: "Some of them tried helping the driver get back into his truck to flee.. Some tried calming me down by saying that they will make him apologize, and when I refused taking an apology, trying in vain to get them to see the crime he committed, they didn't understand why I was so determined to take to the police station and called me crazy. One of them even told me 'I don't understand what a girl like you is doing, standing her with men!' While others kept watching from their balconies without even caring to offer any help."

You may wonder, were there not any women on the street at the time?.. Well, according to Noha, only one woman volunteered to help her.. and her way of help was as follows: She said to Noha, "Never mind my girl, let him go, just don't humiliate yourself like that!"

What kind of society are we living in?! Are those normal people? Or were they all subjected to some kind of mysterious gas that caused them to lose their minds? Seriously, it seems that our society is suffering from mass hysteria! People are sick in a disgusting way! Have they lost any trace of common sense! Do they stand there blaming the victim for wanting to claim her rights?.. Seriously??.. Are they helping the criminal to get away with his crime??.. Seriously??.. Is that the presumably Religious, Pious, Conservative society of ours?? Damn it!

I'm sorry to shock you all, but it just keeps getting worse and worse. For those of you who love horror movies I recommend reading the full story as told by Noha in an interview with Al Youm Al Sabe3.. Unfortunately, it is not available in English.

For 2 whole hours after the assault, Noha stood there in the middle of a crowd, merely trying to convince them that this man she was holding is a criminal!! According to Noha, she was unable to find anyone in this very busy commercial road who was willing to help her, except for one young man who sympathized and bravely took all the criticism because he volunteered to help her get to the station with this harasser!

Now, we are going to see a totally different episode of how those things are handled by our heroic patriarchal security forces!

Noha's friend who was with her when she got attacked went off to the nearest community police station, which we call no2tah, to get help. But the constable there said that it was none of their business (I wonder whose business it is!) and told her to call 911! There was nothing to do other than holding this harasser all the way to this community station.

When Noha got there and told the story to the constable, he did not hide being so disinterested and warned her that she will suffer a lot if she insists on placing legal charges against the guy who harassed her! When she insisted, he called the police officer, who didn't bother to come. He then wrote down her complaint and said that they won't be able to take the suspect to the main police station!!.. and that if she wanted this complaint to take its legal course, she had to drive him by herself there!!.. Which she did.. She then had to go to the prosecutor's office on the same day, and there, according to Noha, the prosecutor was the only one who thought she did the right thing and saluted her courage. That's how the Noha's case found its way to court.. any other girl could have given up after facing all those obstacles. Does our honorable ministry of interior now understand why girls do not complain when they get harassed??? Or don't they?

Yesterday, 21 October 2008, Noha's harasser, Sherif Gabriel was sentenced to 3 years behind bars. A great victory to all the women in Egypt.. and a badge of honor to the Egyptian court. I am so happy that Noha's effort and courage in fighting for her civil rights were not wasted in vain. I am also so glad that although we still don't have a law under which harassers could be tried, Gabriel could not escape punishment. It is good to find some sanity and justice when all we could see around us is pure madness, and when violence against women has somehow become the norm.

Yes, justice was served. But not all is well that ends well. In fact, this good ending is just a beginning which opened a tiny window unto a world of evil and ethical rot. For example.. I couldn't help boiling with anger at some of the comments posted by the readers on Al Masry Al Youm this morning. Some of them still blame women for being the cause of harassment!!.. Some of them refuse to admit that Noha is a human being and a citizen that has the right in a safe street!! Some of them can't see beyond Noha's hair!! As if this is what tempted the harasser to grab her breast, and not the fact that she is a female! They haven't learned anything.. They insist on compromising their humanity and degrading themselves to the level of animals. But even animals do not do this to one another!

The image as it says that we have a serious problem in Egypt. A problem with the people, their minds, their psyche, their values, and the way they see matters. Something is very wrong with this country. We have to face it. Noha's case is only the beginning.. It gave us a peek into the darkness inside our souls as a society. Now, we have to see the disease that is eating up our moral system and causing us to fail miserably as human beings.

Harassment Season in Egypt

Well, what can I say? It seems like we still have to deal with this shit for some time to come. Again, I talk about sexual harassment.. and this time the return of a new phenomenon which takes place during Eid El-fitr.. which is a Muslim feast, following Ramadan. It seems that Egyptian sexual harassers have chosen this time of the year (what a choice!) to unleash their savageness as a group.. instead of the individual assaults they practice on daily basis!

During the Eid of 2006, incidents of mass sexual harassment took place in Down Town Cairo. This was the first time for such a thing to happen in Egypt (as far as I know). Hundreds of young men went about attacking women down the streets, grabbing them, touching them, and even tearing up their clothes! Back then, the Egyptian police refused to admit the occurrence of these incidents, even after actual footage were released over the internet and were being sent via mobile phones. Still police maintained that all this was not enough proof, and that all these were mere rumors!.. according to them, as long as there was no single complaint officially filed to certify the occurrence of such incidents, then this means that nothing has happened!

How hilarious our government becomes when it acts stupid! The problem is that, as citizens, we've seen enough to be assured that our security system is so damn knowledgeable. It can be loose at times, but it has got all the power and the tools it needs to gather information. They can not even pretend to be stupid. Anyway, what happened then reminded me of the well-known Egyptian movie "Al Noom Fi Al Assal" [Fast Asleep] (and a better translation would be "Sweet Obliviousness"), a comedy that mocks this fact about our government (that is, their habit of denying things, refusing to admit the presence of problems in order to escape responsibility of having to work on solving them). In this regard, the film was so realistic; yet in order to avoid problems with censorship (yes, we do have censorship on movies, books...etc) its makers resorted to an imaginary plot: aka, a mysterious disease is spreading rapidly throughout Egypt, causing men to lose their sexual ability. And because in a conservative society like ours such a thing is considered to be so scandalous and a horrible insult to a man's manhood, nobody dares confess being infected with the disease. The issue is discovered accidentally, when a young man commits suicide on his wedding night, a poor plumber slays his wife, and disputes between spouses reach police stations. The government discovered what was wrong, yet refrained from admitting it to the public, being sure that nobody would be brave enough to confess that they became impotent. However, the film ends on a very strong note when the police chief investigator who was on the case (played by superstar Adel Emam) loses his job because of taking those facts he found to parliament. He gathers people from all over Cairo in a huge march to the Egyptian parliament while screaming "Ahh".. a declaration of their suffering and a demand for action.

It seems that this movie predicted 10 years earlier (1996) how our government would handle the the mass sexual harassment of 2006. And it seems that Egyptian girls have learned the lesson. Here is what happened as published on Al-Arabiya Net:

The independent al-Masry al-Youm reported that 150 young men assaulted female passers-by on Gamaat al-Duwal al-Arabiya street in the upper-class neighborhood of Mohandeseen. One woman’s clothes were ripped off her body and another had her veil torn, the newspaper reported.

Police arrested 38 suspects, between 15 and 22, and questioned three of the female victims.

One of the female victims, who wore the 'niqab' (an Islamic dress covering the body from head to toe, except for the eyes), said that a number of young men assaulted her and her friends.

"They tore our clothes and snatched the 'hijab' (veil) worn by one of us," she was quoted as saying. She added that there were many other groups of young men along the street.

So, as expected and as usual this lollipop myth has proven to be useless. As I said earlier, "wrapped on unwrapped, you'll be consumed one way or another". This time harassers were actually arrested because their victims spoke up and testified. Nobody could deny it. But there remains the problem of "SO WHAT?"..

The arrests were random, some of the suspects complained. "Yes, I was there, but I did nothing. No one could prove that I touched any of these girls." On the other hand, imagine being trapped inside a circle of 150 harassers! Would you be able to recognize any faces? The trauma itself is enough to waste your chances in proving anything. The result? Yes, they were arrested.. but they were also released shortly after! It's that simple.

As previously mentioned , we are waiting for a law against sexual harassment. Now, if you are in a position like that, nothing will help you, even in the presence of such a law. But, what encouraged those guys in first place and made them unite in attacking those girls is their confidence that each of them was successful in his previous individual assaults. Therefore, the importance of this law cannot be ignored or marginalized. Still, as a woman you must be able to defend yourself. This time, I mean being able to defend yourself in case of being subjected to a physical sexual assault that may involve violence. Of course, until police regains control over the streets, DO NOT TAKE A WALK NEAR A CROWD OF YOUNG MEN, especially during feasts.

Here are some self-defense techniques that are a must-know, especially if you live in Cairo. You'd better be prepared. If nobody's willing to defend us, then we'd better be prepared. It seems that when men fail to go back to the jungle, they go ahead to establish their own.

It's Time to Say: "Back Off!"

Hi again.. I'm saying 'HI' as I have recently come back from vacation. My absence was due to many reasons, none of which can be discussed here. Yet, from now on I can promise everyone that they would find a huge change with this blog. Let's make it a surprise..

Today I talk about sexual harassment.. Wait.. I know what you're thinking now. Please be patient.. No, it's not a "going-with- the-flow" kind of business. And no, it's not because I suddenly discovered (like many people pretend to do) that women are being harassed in Egypt! And no, I won't waste your precious time on the usual talk which is being reproduced here and there. Nonetheless, I can't hide how happy I am that Egyptians have (at last!) decided to speak up and publicly condemn this shameful practice, which had in fact turned into a massive plague during the past few years.

I'm glad that nowadays we openly admit that women are not safe in Egypt. And I salute the idea of the campaign launched by the Ministry of Tourism. One of their TV ads show a truck driver harassing a female tourist, who angrily complains that "this has never happened to her anywhere else." The ad ends by telling the harasser, "You're not the only one to lose. We all lose." They might have as well added the label "ONLY IN EGYPT", although I don't believe it's true. Still, we should admit that sexual harassment is not as widely practiced anywhere else as it is in Egypt. In fact, it has become part of an Egyptian female's daily routine! You wake up, get dressed, head to school or university or work, get harassed on the way, and then get harassed again on your way back home.

I really wish to see an ad asking men to stop harassing Egyptian women. Don't get me wrong. I encourage protecting tourists with all my heart. Their safety is the least we can guarantee them while they're visiting our land. But don't you think that we lose more by turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the daily suffering of our own women! Money is not the only thing to lose. And allow me to say that it is the last thing we should care about losing if we lose everything that makes us human.. I'm talking about honor and dignity.

This BCC report, titled "Egypt voices: Sexual harassment", is not only worth reading, but it is also worth writing about. In this report, several Egyptian girls talk about their personal experiences with sexual harassment. Up till here, there's nothing new. What's new is that those girls did so while showing their faces, stating their true names and professions! Now, many will consider this an act of outstanding courage. But I wanna tell you that one becomes that brave (or daring if you might say) when one loses hope. In other words, when you are fed up, and you realize that you're all alone and that things will never get better unless you scream out loud in the desperate hope that someone may overhear you. This does not decrease our respect for their courage, for it takes a very strong person to face a society like ours with such facts. There is no more "I heard that". There is no more "one of my friends got harassed". There is finally a confession in first person pronoun.. "I was harassed". And it didn't stop there, for they moved to describing real incidents.. what the harassers did to them and how they felt during and after this ordeal.

I don't remember how many times I have been verbally harassed. According to the latest survey, 4 out of every 5 females in Egypt get harassed on daily basis! This doesn't mean that the other 1 out of 5 were never subject to sexual harassment.. It simply means that they don't experience it on daily basis. And I believe that this is the first true figure to be announced about sexual harassment in Egypt.. or 'the cancer', as the The Egyptian Center for Women Rights calls it in its latest survey. However, I don't like this metaphor, as it makes harassment sound like it has no cure, while on the contrary, this disease can and must be cured. Its cure lies in the hands of many who have for long chosen to be passive and to simply live in denial. Finally, I'm glad to announce that we're waiting for a law that would punish sexual harassers. However, I don't trust how laws function in our dear third world countries. My own problem, I know.. but it may as well be yours if this law (in case it sees the light) didn't improve anything.

In my previous post I wrote about the ridiculous lollipop ad and warned that it will only serve to provide more support to harassers. I also said that females in this country have got the choice between allowing themselves to be reduced into inanimate objects, or fighting for their humanity and their basic civil rights in a safe street and safe means of transportation. I think it's time to be more specific about what is expected of a girl who values her humanity.

One of the girls interviewed in the report mentioned above said that her mother told her not to answer back to those who harass her. How many times have we heard this, huh? With all respect to our mothers who lived in a different Egypt and who safely wore mini skirts to university without ever meeting an indecent look or gesture.. this dusty advice can go straight to hell. Being raised in shame, swallowing all kinds of insult and abuse in silence so as not to disturb our patriarchal society in its sleep has caused us to reach this dead end we're facing today. Now, what should we wait for? For society to protect us?? Hahaha. Bogus!

I say we keep screaming. It's healthy. Better than increasing the repression and hiding the agony. It is time for this society to wake up and see what it has done to its women.. don't you think so? But meanwhile, you should also seek to defend yourself. Unless you care to stand up for yourself, nobody will care for you. You won't earn anyone's respect if you just keep enduring being slapped. You will turn from being the victim into being guilty. You will be the cross onto which society shall hang all its failures and rottenness. If you have respect for yourself.. and if you think that you deserve to be treated with respect.. raise your head up high and shake off all the shame and guilt that they laid on you. Defend your right and take back your street. Yes, it is yours! It's not Men's Street. It is your street as well. You are not an excess. You are not a lollipop or any goody they want to reduce you into. Put the shame on the one who deserves it. Make the insect who dares touch you or talk to you in an improper way see your disgust, and expose him in front of everyone.


Here are some final tips which are personally tested and proven to reduce harassment. Preventing it, though, would need a collaborative effort. Remember that by being passive you are not only harming yourself, but you are putting hundreds at risk. Think about it.

1. Have a serious look on your face whenever you're walking down the street. This would give any harasser an indication that you're not the quiet, shy kind of girl. He would be reluctant to approach you for fear that his assault might provoke you enough to scream and scandalize him.

2. When you ride a bus or metro, or if you are in a crowded place, don't look around you as if you are expecting to be harassed at any moment. Harassers smell weak girls who are already scared. They know that fear will paralyze you for a few seconds, and that is all they need. Instead, stand up straight. Act confident. Look people in the eye. And if you meet the eye of someone you suspect of being a harasser, don't ever look away. Give him a slight grim mixed with the "Don't-even-think-about-it" kind of look directly in the eye.

3. If you have to walk down a quiet inner alley, don't walk close to the buildings. This will encourage any harasser, because he knows that chances of you being noticed by passers by or inhabitants who might be present in their balconies is minimal. Instead, walk towards the middle of the street. You might think that hiding makes you safe, but in fact you are trapping yourself, being blocked from view. It is also recommended, in case you pass by this alley on daily basis, to save the number of the nearest police station on your mobile.. preferably saving it as "1police", for example. This will make it on top of your phone book list for a fast dial.

4. If you think you're being harassed, do not deceive yourself into mistaking it for a joke. Many girls endure inappropriate comments or gestures made by their colleagues, bosses, teachers…etc, trying to convince themselves that it is just their way of joking, or that those persons have a crude sense of humor! They think that rejecting these acts or being firm would cause embarrassment and unneeded tension! Baby, if you feel bad, awkward, offended, uneasy, or that something is wrong, then it has to be as such. Sugar-coating harassment won't make it sound any better. If you don't stop this early enough, the person who is harassing you (whoever he is.. and yes, he can be as old as your grandfather) will take it as a green light to proceed to more daring stuff. Don't be a willing victim. Denial always makes things worse.

5. If you get harassed, make a scene. This does not only teach your harasser a lesson, but it also makes you stronger as you discover how cowardly those harassers turn to be. You will be more able to defend yourself. Once you lose the fear.. fear of the harasser and fear of speaking out.. you will be amazed as you encounter less and less harassments. By then, you'd think that those insects that roam the streets have suddenly disappeared. But no.. The harassers didn't disappear.. it is the new you that they fear.

Retards Make It to The Atlantic

The money quote:
"You won't be able to stop them (i.e. guys), but you can protect yourself. He who created you knows what's best for you!"

Hello all the lollipops out there.. and the flies too. Hope everybody's is doing great in Candyland!

Well, I've -unfortunately- seen this stupid ad in many places around the internet. I even received it in an email! (Some of my buddies have gone into the habit of spamming lately.) When I first laid eyes on it, the only thing that came to mind was.. WTF? I felt disgusted and offended beyond belief. And every time I saw it on a blog or a Facebook group the same lump found its way to my throat.

Until, one day, I saw it on The Atlantic! Even Andrew Sullivan seems to have been moved by it. Yeah.. Voila.. It's right there in my face.. But this time there was something new about it. I thought I saw a tongue sticking out from behind the lollipops! Most probably it was the working of my insulted brain which in turn intoxicated my imagination. I rubbed my eyes, looked back again.. still nothing changed.. There is the stupid ad, the lollipops, the flies and the tongue!

Sandmonkey has said enough about this, that I need say no more. Although in his post he has reached an awkward conclusion assuming that hijabi females themselves are the ones responsible for this stupid campaign! (Why?.. No clue.) Wish such a disgusting ad would have stayed at home.. but uhuh.. that's just one of the disadvantages of Globalization.. Things cannot be kept at home for too long! Now, the whole world can see the latest inventions of the Egyptian mind! That's how Egyptians use the evil West's modern technology.. precisely, as manifest in Photoshop! See? Who on earth could have thought of this but us? It still is creative, if you can somehow bring yourself to take out the "sick" aspect of it.

Let's cast all that aside now, and please bear to look at this thing (sorry) from a fresh angle.. an Egyptian one as well.

I don't believe hijab propagandists have grown that desperate while seeking to influence more girls to wear hijab, knowing that almost 80% of Egyptian females today are hijab-wearers. What's freaking me out about this ad, though, is its indirect encouragement to sexual harassers!

Seeing this ad from a boy's eyes, the message is totally reversed from a presumably "religious", "pious", or "moral" cause, to an implication that sexual harassment is the norm, and that whoever dislikes it should make this clear by dropping down a veil over her head.. so as to say, become marked. You guys are thus being encouraged to direct your sexual advancements towards those who do not hold this mark.. the X.

Mind you.. How come we see no ads, stickers, flyers, posters or the like, telling guys to back off? or reminding them of the punishment of a sexual harasser in the afterlife? The doors of hell seem to be wide open exclusively to females!.. and in today's Egypt those females are defined as those who do not cover their hair! On the other hand, though, nothing whatsoever is said about male sexual harassers. Sometimes I even imagine that they are ready to place a reward for those who harass females down the streets or means of public transportation! And the message that is being transmitted all the time sounds like "Girls are asking for it. Girls deserve it. Girls are the source of evil. Girls are temptation. Girls are the ones who push you to sin, and if you give in to their temptation you are just a poor fellow, and it is totally human, and God will forgive you for being weak. But she.. she will burn in eternal hell."

I can't believe I'm about to do this.. But let me play a devil's advocate for a while.

Suppose that girls are asking to be harassed.. Supposed that they enjoy your sneaky hand exploring their bodies.. Suppose they are just pretending to be offended while in secret that is what they are seeking after.. And suppose that you are merely answering their call. Why don't you count your sister among them? Why don't you count your wife among them? Why don't you count your daughter among them? Are they immune? Or.. the question I'd better ask is.. Are they marked as untouchables?

Here it is. In a man's world you can not place any restrictions on men. You can not ask them to be moral, religious, God-fearing.. or even human. Most of them will be delighted by the thought of being considered as insects, as long as they are allowed to roam freely and indulge in every low desire. "So what? Call me an insect.. Fine by me. But let those lollipops be prepared for my adventures. Let them know that they can never hope to get rid of my jaws and my stinky tongue. Let them surrender to my rules."

Islamist Fundamentalists exploit this patriarchal rot seeking their own advantages. They are other insects of another kind, feeding on social fungus. For them, reforming manners and calling people to abide by high morals means their distinction. What will they feed on when there is no more rot? While the status-quo is so full of advantages.. that's their ultimate playground. That's why they can exercise their influence at full length. Patriarchs will appreciate this license to sin, while in return they will offer huge support to those fundamentalists.. after all, they are the ones in power.. they control society.. and those fellow insects will help them to gain more control.

Girls in this position have no choice. They are not doers, and they are brought up to believe that they can never aspire to be doers. They are the done-by. You either accept the marking system (the veil) or you are exposed to waves of criticism and rebuke for being the primary source of evil on earth. You can not break this affiliation between patriarchy and islamic fundamentalism.. it is a match made in heaven!.. and you are too weak to dare question their values.

But wait a minute.. Your submission is not solving anything.. not even for you. On the contrary.. it is making things much worse. By accepting to play the role of the lollipop, you are in fact declaring the death of humanity. You are the one building Candyland with your own hands. And you're building it for insects to enjoy! In Candyland, there are only lollipops and flies.. Flies are the living organisms, they rule.. lollipops are merely inanimate objects. Wrapped or unwrapped, they still are the same. Insects will consume you one way or another.

Believe it or not.. you can stop all this! You have the power within you to decide and choose, because you are still a human being. So, you can either choose to stay as such and change your society to better, inspiring them to stick on to their humanity, and refusing to be exploited in such a way.. or.. you can go ahead and surrender.. go with the flow.. be the lollipop and lose any hope in becoming a human being once more. It all lies within your hands.

The Victimization of Egyptian Women and Children

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Somethings are just beyond belief! And I seriously wish that what Egypt has been witnessing lately is just one long bad dream. Don't know what to do if this nightmare doesn't end. Excuse my sad, or rather depressed, tone.. but I am extremely shocked, and on many levels.

Let's start with the child rights laws, which have been the subjects of many debates in Egypt lately. This led to some amendments and now the articles are being discussed once more, faced by huge resistance led by.. of course you know who.. the Muslim Brotherhood! Unfortunately, now that they have occupied 88 seats in the Egyptian parliament, they can object to such laws.. not only so, but the huge media controls they own, as well as those that surrender to their influence, enables them to disfigure anything they object to, and represent it in the most horrible attire to the masses who have come to consider them as their trusted source of information and ready made judgements.

Why am I writing about child rights? Well, there are a number of laws that mainly target the rights of a female child. Pardon me, I feel stupid when I call them rights.. let's say discontinuing violations against young girls, from FGM to early marriages. But that is not the only reason.


I don't know how to explain it to those of you who are not familiar with the Egyptian society (or Arab societies in general), yet let me try. Women here, in spite of of their utter vulnerability, are expected to bear full responsibility of their children. This responsibility may or may not include the financial one. Yet, even if the financial aspect is included, a woman is not supposed to take credit for it.. as opposed to the man, who is automatically perceived of as the bread earner, the hero who toils to provide for his family.

Take this as an example. A typical Egyptian mother is supposed to get as many children as her husband wants. She doesn't have a say in this. This is a man's decision to make. If he asks for more kids, his wish must be granted, or else.. and this "else" includes horrible options.. needless to say, all of which are totally controlled by the man, for he can decide to divorce his wife or desert her or have a second wife. So, to make a story short, that's why a woman has to keep producing babies into this world until her husband decides that he's had enough.

Then, she becomes responsible for nourishing those kids, upbringing them alone (just like a single mom) looking after their health, taking them to school, helping with their homework (if she is educated|), besides her regular chores of course, and satisfying her husband in every possible way. Which means, that basically this woman never gets a chance to have any time for herself.

Now, what if she is married to a cruel man.. or worse, a psycho.. which is not a rare case? He has the right to beat her and her children as severely as he wishes. No criminal charges can be directed against him, unless one of them dies as a result of this beating. And yes, it is allowed in our legal system. And yes, you guessed it right, because some crazy sadistic men have claimed that this is an authorized tool for disciplining a man's wife and children in Islam! Which is absolutely not true.

This woman, even if she has a job, is never encouraged to leave her husband. Even if you are married to a psycho or a drug addict, society expects you to stay in this marriage for the sake of "the children". Black comedy.. but true.. she is stuck with this psycho and her children have to pay the price, until either this man dies a natural death, or one of them ends up being murdered. Then this man is put to jail and the other members of the family, who are already ruined by then, can continue their lives without neither upsetting the society nor being tortured by the father (being in prison).

At last, in the year 2008, and for the first time, new laws are being endorsed to protect child rights in Egypt. Those laws include:

1- Prohibiting the practice of FGM and considering it a criminal act which deserves to be punished by law. ( Yes, up till now FGM is not considered a criminal act. It is prohibited at public hospitals, and the ministry of health forbids any registered doctors from doing the procedure. But there can be no charges against those who break the rule. 2 girls have recently lost their lives while undergoing FGM, and those who operated on them were not charged with anything.)

Bedour, lost her life while undergoing FGM

2- Considering severe beating of a child by his/her parents to be a violation against child rights, and therefore authorities will have the right to place charges against the parent in case of severe injuries and causing disabilities.

3- Raising the age of marriage for females to 18, and any female under this age can not have a legal marriage certificate. (Early marriages are usually arranged by the parents who wish to get rid of the responsibility of their daughters or force them to marry for money.)

4-Giving a mother the right to register her child on her name in cases of illegal children, where the father refuses to give his name to his own child outside marriage. (Currently, there are 120,000 cases of illegal children in Egyptian courts. By law, even if a DNA test relates a child to his parent, the man can still refuse to give his name to his child, as long as there is no official marriage certificate bonding him with the mother. Moreover, a man cannot be forced to take a DNA test in those cases. If he refuses to take it, then nothing can be done.)

Now, imagine this.. The MB objects to all those laws saying the following:

1- FGM should be left as a matter of choice. If parents wish to preserve the "chastity" of their daughters through this procedure, then it is their way of protecting her and deciding what is good for her! Therefore, they claim, by closing the legal doors, they will still do it (as if this is a matter of fact that we have to live with) even if they resort to unprofessional physicians, nurses or "hala' elseha" or "daya".

2- The Muslim Brotherhood considers corporal punishment ban "imported from west", saying that it is an authorized method of disciplining children according to Islam, and building on the hadith "Order your children to pray at the age of seven, beat them for it at the age of ten, and let males and females take separate beds." (The hadith didn't mean to beat a child until death. Severe beating is prohibited in all cases, while minor rebuking back at that time before any other methods of parenting or discipline were introduced was permitted in the case of reminding a kid to pray.). Then the other hadith, which they present in the worst version I've ever seen is "Play with them (your children) for seven (years), beat them for seven, befriend them for seven, and then let them be." Now, this hadith, if it is a real one (I've never seen it anywhere except on their websites) was never said with the verb "beat" edrabohom, but the versions I saw before either had the verb "discipline" adebohom or "educate" 3alemohom in its place. It does not make sense at all when you relate it to what we know about how prophet Muhammed brought up his children, besides the crazy and brutal message behind it. Seriously, those people are cursing their religion!

3- Again, as always, they like the idea of kids getting married. Don't know what those sick people are thinking! And they keep making pathetic excuses for it. How can a girl under 18 be responsible for a family, for God's sake? What are they benefiting by causing more men to rape kids in the name of a legal marriage? Yes, this is rape. Straight and inhuman rape, no matter what the papers say. How come a kid who can not even have a bank account or a driving license be able to get married??!! If I can't be responsible for some money bills or a car made of metal, how come I am allowed to be responsible for a family and raise children while I am legally a child? Who on earth would want a girl under this age to get married? and for what purpose? This is way too much!

4- Yeah, the usual talk. Leave the illegal children in the streets. We have one million homeless children in the streets?.. so what? Let them double or triple.. not a problem. But a child can never have the name of his/her mother. A child whose father is an animal must pay for it for a lifetime. But the animal has to be protected, because he's a man. Now that's a heavenly privilege that no one can touch. He is the god on earth. He chooses whether to give his children a life or execute them. A child whose father is unwilling to give him a name, can never have a life. The god on earth has decided his fate.. so leave the kid to meet it.

Yeah.. yeah. Great macho men! So, this is religion, huh? We are supposed to buy this, aren't we? So, Islam for you is a religion that rewards sadists, psychos and brutal men, while it punishes women and children, the scum of earth, right? Now, let me see this clearly. According to you, we are worshiping a sick man in the sky.. for this being you are claiming to talk on behalf of can never be a deity of any kind.. he can not raise to the level of the human even! What a bunch of psychos you are! I bet that the devil himself has got more ethics than you do.

Take a look at what the MB makes of this here.

Women Rights in Egypt: When the Wheel Has to Be Reinvented

I've said before that the huge steps taken by Egyptian women on their road to liberation in a previous era have now been reduced to a few centimeters. We're heading back to square one, thanks to the deterioration that Egypt is witnessing in the cultural, educational and social fields. And today I am saying it once more. Sorry to break the news.. but unfortunately there seems no hope in improving women conditions in Egypt unless we reinvent the wheel.

Why so?

1- Egyptians are revisiting the old libraries of the gulf, digging up the history of a different culture and trying to apply it to their present lives. In the process, they totally forgot their own identity and neglected their own history and culture. Books of Muhammed Abdu, Qassim Amin and Huda Shaarawy are now fit for the Egyptian museum. Nobody knows the titles of those books.. and that is in the most optimistic scenario.. as there is another scenario in which people do not know that such books exist in first place. Therefore, displaying them at the museum may do them good.. at least young people would know that we once had a women's liberation movement.

2- Everything that women struggled for in the past, until they were finally successful in attaining some of their rights is being threatened. We are nowadays arguing basic human rights issues related to women.. like women's work! Even sexual harrassment has got its supporters based on the idea that women should not leave their homes!

3- Whatever rights women seem to be enjoying in Egypt have lost their essence to become a mere image and a fake appearance of equal opportunities between males and females. Take education as an example.. How many girls get their college degrees and then never join the workforce? How many female students apply for graduate studies? How many females are interested in research? Education for females is still looked upon as an extra.. a luxury.. a means to have a better chance in marriage. I'm sorry to say that a lot of money is being wasted on educating females in Egypt.

4- Currently, women themselves are the biggest obstacle in our way to development. A large percentage of them is not only a burden on Egypt's economy, but also a major hindering factor that prevents society from moving forward. We must face it.. Those women have moved from being merely self-destructive into becoming weapons of mass destruction. Therefore, helping them to improve their conditions is no more a humanitarian mission.. Forget the big talk about humanity and values and all this charity.. We need to help them in order to stop our country from going downhill. We're talking about protecting our existence and saving generations to come.

5- Women's health in Egypt is a major issue. As EFC has pointed earlier, women are the ones responsible for the wellbeing of their families.. So, these self-hating women who refuse to look after themselves are also risking the wellbeing of their families. Billions are being wasted on medical care for women who are only being careless about their health and general hygiene. Obesity is a growing epidemic threatening the human resources of this country. Women suffer from many diseases because of their ignorance and their dissatisfaction with their lives. They suffer from diabetes, high blood pressure, heart diseases, malnutrition, bacterial and fungal infections, late discovery of cancers (esp. breast cancer and endometrial cancer), bone and joint disorders, ...etc. Psychological illnesses are very common among women.. from depression to serious conditions like hysteria and schizophrenia. Of course poverty contributes a lot to this problem.. but the self-destructive element can not be overlooked.

6-If you talk to an average Egyptian girl for 10 mins, you will discover that she thinks of herself as an excess.. an intruder into a man's world. She views herself as a second class citizen and she defends the patriarchal excuses given to justify this humiliating existence and absence of equality.. What a disgrace! Girls actually think that they are doing humanity a "huge favor" by accepting this kind of reality. Yeah.. and they believe that is their gate to heaven too! Acceptance and submissiveness is our women's number one virtue nowadays. Hurray!

If we continue to deceive ourselves by saying that our job is simply to continue what our ancestors have started decades ago then there is no hope. The situation is dangerous, and the writing is on the wall.. All we gotta do is read it, no matter how shocking it is. We gotta start a women's liberation movement from scratch. We gotta convince girls that they are not inferiors, that they are full humans, that they have a role to play on the social scene... bla bla bla. I know it sounds like ABC.. But, do we have a choice?

V-Day... Stop the Violence 1

With the curent trends and attitudes in modern day Egypt, a very important problem has surfaced that I feel is unacceptable, and attention needs to be brought to that matter.
I am talking of course about violence against women in general, or spouse abuse in particular.
Abuse can be one of 2 types: either emotional or physical. Many factors have promoted this abuse, including te media, misinterpretation of religion, and our mysogynist culture. In older movies, it was not uncommon to see a woman being beaten by a man, and it always shown in a positive light, and the man was always the good guy, because the woman of course deserved it. This led to the acceptance of the concept of domestic violence and abuse, making it appear as a normal every day event, and encouraging people to follow the footsteps of the star in the movie... slowly it became widely acceptable, and mainstream.

Abuse can be one of 2 types, either emotional or physical. Emotional abuse is the least evident form of abuse, yet has the most damaging concequences on the victim. The problem with our society is that it advocates the emotional abuse of women... Girls are taught that they are inferior to boys in childhood. Boys run around as they please, while girls are told, "you are a girl, so you should be quiet".. it is not "natural" for girls to be active or to run around freely or misbehave like boys. As they get older, things only get more difficult and more complicated. Brothers are given control over their sisters, simply because they are males, and therefore should be dominant. They are encouraged to order them around and to monitor their every move... some families go as far as allowing their son to beat their daughter if he feels that she is doing something he does not approve of, or something that may threaten the "family honor". This scenario sets the stage for what is to come later as boys and girls grow to be men and women. In a household, men begin their marriage by trying to establish the fact that they are dominant, every decision that is taken is the man's.. everything the woman does, has to be pre- approved by the man. Family and society encourage him to do that, and tell him he is not a man if he doesnt do that. Some men will force their wives to stay at home. So they are 100% financially dependant on the husband. In return, the wife is expected to attend to her husband's every need. If she doesnt, she is not good enough and needs to be "disciplined" according to the man's standards. And of course according to the way he was raised, "beating" his wife is justified... after all, isn't she the one who didn't have dinner ready on time, or didn't clean the house efficiently enough, or didn't perform a task he asked for in a timely manner? Women are taught that they are nothing without a man.
She does not even have the option of leaving him, which is a right God gave her, but which society has taken away from her. Fanta discussed how women are prevented from seeking a divorce by society here. Some men will even forbid their wives from communicating with their families, and make sure they are totally cut off from all of their friends.... and when these poor women complain, they are told, "you have to obey your husband...it is his right to 'protect' you, and women can spoil (yefsedo) each other, so your husband is only protecting you by cutting you off from your life as you have known it before he married you". Now this may look like a fact of life for some people, or a husband being over protective compared to others, but the truth is: this is a very systematic approach to deprive women of everything they have and to gurantee their total submission and dependance on their partners, so they are unable to function in society... which gives people a reason to forbid them from holding positions or being figures of authority...etc.

This scenario is in fact a direct application of the steps of Psycological abuse!!! Here is how:

Based on an adaptation of work from Alice Miller's For Your Own Good and John Bradshaw's Healing the Shame That Binds You

Authority figures (AF)
1. AF's are the masters of dependants.
2. AF's alone decide what is right and wrong
3. They alone make up the definitions, the rules, and the "consequences" (i.e. punishment)
4. Dependants are held responsible for the AF's feelings (anger, disappointment, embarrassment, humiliation, happiness and unhappiness)
5. The AF is only responsible and accountable for good things that happen, never the bad ones. Thus the AF appears to always be right, and when things go wrong the dependant is always blamed and feels responsible and guilty.
6. The AF tries to exercise total control of the dependant by controlling his thoughts, feelings and behavior. Whenever this control is not absolute, the AF feels threatened.
7. The dependant's individuality is minimized as much as possible by the AF.
8. The AF creates an intricate system of punishments and rewards which rob the dependant of any sense of inner direction or esteem.
9. The following freedoms listed by Virginia Satire are denied to the dependant as much as possible:
a) The freedom to perceive b) To think and interpret c) To feel To want, need, and chose
10. The AF never (or rarely) admits mistakes or apologizes.
11. All of the above take place in a way which does not expose the AF's true motives, and none of this is openly talked about. No "back talk" is allowed
Some of the Consequences:
-Mistakes are concealed
-People are under constant stress
-Needs are frustrated, denied
-Fear dominates
-Power is based on fear, not respect
-Information is withheld and distorted
-Information flow is primarily from top down
-Behavior is forced; does not come naturally
-Behavior is not consistent with true feelings, which adds to the stress
-Conflicts and problems are blamed on the dependent's "poor attitudes" and "character flaws."
-All of this tears the dependant person apart, causing self-alienation and even self-loathing. The dependant person loses faith in his/her own mind and feelings with devastating self-esteem consequences.
-Depression, rage, mood swings, co-dependency, self-injury and self-destruction are typical outcomes.
-If the authority figure is a parent, this person will likely develop symptoms of various "disorders" such as the so-called Borderline Personality disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Anoexia, Bulemia etc.

The previous box explains emotional abuse and how it is accomplished, and how it affects the abused person. I copied it from this link

If you read through the points, you will see that we can all agree that points #1,2, and 3 are all systematically carried out in most Egyptian households, and are considered to be traditional values that people should not question. Emotional abuse is mainly having someone depend on you emotionally , financially, socially.. You threaten to leave them or marry someone else if they disobey you.. You cut off ties between them and their friends and family.. You control them financially, then you make them feel that they cannot function in life without you!!!

Point #4 may not be as evident, but it is the one argument used by most Egyptians when they talk to women to see why a husband has cheated on his wife.... For example, if a man cheats, the woman is always told "you are responsible for his bad behaviour... you must have done something wrong, so you were unable to contain him... maybe you are not enough for him... see where you are deficient, and try to fix your flaws, then beg him to come back to you.. maybe if he sees your sincere efforts to correct your faults he will have pitty on you and be yours exclusively"!!! A woman is never encouraged to leave a cheating husband, and of course the welfare of the children is always mentioned as a reason she should tolerate abuse.

On the other hand, if a woman cheats on her husband, then she is a slut and a whore, who does not deserve her husband .. she does not deserve to live .. he is encouraged to throw her out, and never look back.. what she has done is inconceivable and unforgivable. The husband is discouraged from ever forgiving his wife, and to society, she deserves every bad thing that comes her way. The children's welfare in this case is not an issue, since they claim children dont need a mother who cheats on her spouse!! Notice how the man is never at fault.... if he cheats, she is wrong.. If she cheats, she is wrong!!! Men are never wrong in society's twisted logic.

To Be Continued..

Sabaya: When Women Discriminate Against Women!

This bomb exploded right in my face when I entered Forsoothsayer's blog. She received a forwaded e-mail advertising Hanan Turk's café. Warning: Don't read on if you have any heart condition or high blood pressure.

Plz forward to girls and women you know might be interested
At last a place where Muslim GIRLZ can hang out
Sabaya is a very nice place . .nice food and drinks . .no music played . .entrance is only allowed for femalesso it's is really safe for montaqebat . .
it's owned by Hanan Tork . . and Ahmad El Sakka's wife ( Mohammad El So3'ayyar's daughter ) . .so . . it's a cafe and hairdresser . . and also they sell mo7aggabat stuff . . praying carpets . . and gifts :))
ALL IN ONE ;)
Address: 6 Meet 3'amr street . . Midan Safir . . Masr El Gedida.if u know the street that has Cook Door / McDonald's / Oriflame /Smiley's ) . . it's behind McDonald's . . when u see McD . . go right. . then left . . Sabaya will be on ur left . . isA
Tel: 2240 2223 - 2240 2229
Advantges of SABAYA café
1- You have the freedom of taking your veil/neqab off.
2- Meeting muslim girls who are willing to get closer to Allah.
3- Increasing your 'so7ba sale7a circle'.
4-Getting the opportuinity of being inspired by real stories by the same girls you meet.
5-You can have parties.
6-Learn how to shun sin...since You won't be exposed to songs or movies JUST CARTOONS AND RELIGIOUS SHOWS.
7- Get to meet Hanan Turk. heheheheheheheheheheheh
8-Enjoy the feeling that you'r making everything which is not allowed outdoors and Allah won't be mad at you :D..

P.S. Attending sabaya will be very useful from both the life and religious prespective, since YOu will be helping in changing the wrong perceptions about both Neqabis/ Hegabis that were already inheritied ages ago. Help in renewing a new age of respectful, effective, lively , happy with their commitment to Islam :) EGYPTIAN LADIES.:) nOthing is impossible.. May Allah grant us His Mercy and sincerity

-- First please Don't invite Christian girls , because they aren'tallowed to the place.. Second inform all your friends that if the number of visitors increased remarkably in the coming year..inshAllah next year they may be able to open a branch in mohandesen or down town ..We ARE IN DIRE NEED OF A PLACE THAT CONTAINS US 'NEQABIS' OR 'HEGABIS' SO PLEASE THINK BEFORE U GO ANYOTHER CAFE ;)

That was the email published by Forsoothsayer. Then I read a post written by Sandmonkey who has asked a female co-worker to call this place and demand whether this was true. The café confirmed all the above information and added that enterance is only allowed to Hejabis and Niqabis (new terms which refer to women wearing veils or niqab). Both bloggers commented thoroughly on this ridiculous new business, so there is no need for me to say any more about it. I would rather try place this example where it belongs in the bigger picture.

The worst kind of discrimination that a woman faces is that which comes from another woman. As human nature goes, women are not all the same. Their inferior social, cultural and financial position, have caused them to split into two separate teams:

1- There are those who look at their current state and wonder why they have to put up with all the injustice and domination. Those could be: a) smart, talent females who were sick of all kinds of obstacles thrown into their way and the heavy pressure imposed on them which threatens to rob them off any advantages their skills allow; b) females who reject their local culture and are rebellious against oriental or conservative traditions; c) very conservative females who enjoy a strong character and who only wish for a limited margin of freedom where they can practice leadership (or let's say exercising their influence).

Women who belong to this team, with all its diversity, are pushing society forward. They all walk in the same direction. Some of them may stop after a few steps, some of them may go too far.. but they are all heading forward and they all desire a change which joins hands with the movement of history.

2- There are those who look at their current state and accept it. They don't feel there is anything wrong with being an inferior, because they were made to believe that this is the law of nature. Those could be: a) educated females who don't have any exceptional qualities or talents, and thus do not have the urge for achieving something on a large scale, being contented with their traditional roles; b) ignorant or semi-educated females who are oblivious of their rights or any alternatives better than what their local community dictates; c) religious extremists who believe that as females they should imitate the early women of faith and stand against all modern claims of liberation or independence.

Again, women who belong to the second team, with all its diversity, are pulling the whole society backwards. They all walk in the same direction. Some of them may stop after a few steps, some of them may go too far.. but they are all heading backwards and they are all against a change which joins hands with the movement of history.

[For those of you who are interested in a more general social analysis, the current scene as described above may appear to be having gaps. You may wish to include men and see where they stand. I tell you that women give birth to men. Even if they don't lead them, there is still an invisible umbilical cord tying them together. Therefore, men are also divided among those two teams, with some variation when it comes to motives and characteristics. Yet at the end, we will be looking at the same scene.]

Now, let me get back to my subject.. Women Against Women.. or call it women against themselves, if you like.. Those two teams (described above) are in constant interaction inside society. Each team affects and is in turn affected by the other. That is the law of nature which exists in all societies. However, what makes the difference between advanced and retarded societies is the quality of interaction taking place within a certain society. In order to measure that, we have to break down the factors which administrate the interaction in question.

Healthy social interactions, especially between opposing groups, have to be governed by tolerance, mutual respect, dialogue, flexibility and acceptance. I don't think you need to read any further to know the result, as there is no surprise involved. Of course when we put female interaction in our society to the test, we'll find out that none of those factors exist. Even when we can catch a rare glimpse of them, we find them practiced by a few individuals, who mainly belong to the first team (those moving forward). But those few incidences do not by any means reflect a general trend, or even that of a limited considerable group of people. And don't forget that the division of teams is not equal. In fact, today's Egypt is witnessing a rapid increase in the number of the second team (those moving backwards) at the expense of the first. This means that the force of those pulling backwards is much greater than the eager attempts of those pushing society forward. The imbalance in this equation along with the absence of a healthy interactive environment put us in a very critical situation. Mmmmmmmm.. I have to say that what takes place between those teams is not interaction at all. Calling it an interaction would be ridiculously false, for these two teams are basically having a clash.

I want to be as objective as you've always found me. Therefore, allow me to say that the case with Egyptian women is devastating! Many of those who are pro-change, in spite of being relatively open-minded and more flexible, find it very hard to live up to their ideals in practice. You can find them rejecting the others, or criticizing their beliefs, or addressing them from above, or making fun of their choices, or acting repulsively towards them, or insulting their brains. I don't understand it!.. This is totally against what they are calling for. How do you expect people to accept you when you are not even willing to view them as equals? How can you possibly convince them with the necessity of change? How is this going to serve your positive aims? I am against women staying at home. I want all women to join the workforce and take an active part in the development of their country. But I have to respect women who willingly chose not to work. I will do my best to present my argument, and if they still are not convinced, then I have to accept them as they are. What good will rejecting them do?

I know that most of you reading this are going like,"Hey, are you really saying that we are the bad guys here? It's all our fault now? We are the ones who have no tolerance?" Before you start throwing empty bottles or anything, let me tell you that I'm not saying that at all. I had to begin with you because you are the ones who are calling for change. Therefore, I can't stop expecting more from you. There should be more patience and a sincere desire for communicating with the Other. They have some excuse if they don't abide by the proper rules of interaction, but what excuse do you have?

It is evident that the major problem lies in the method followed by the second team in its reaction to the first. We're talking massive collision here. Not only don't they have respect for the others, but they also show it with open hostility. Where do I start?.. Shall I recount the details of how they always try to stain the image of free-thinkers and feminists? Or shall I talk about their insistence to summarize women into their physical bodies? Or shall I describe the way by which they associate ethics with clothes? Or shall I be brave enough to say that to them, basically all women who belong to the first team are morally inferior? I really don't want to go through those tragic facts. It is the worst way of rejection. No, it is worse than rejection itself. So.. let me stop here.

The conflict at hand would not be resolved out of its own. We can't wish for a miracle to make it disappear. Part of the solution lies in our hands. Let's create a healthy environment for interaction between those two wings, or else the results will be destructive for everybody. There is nothing wrong with being different. As a matter of fact, there should be difference for life to go on. Difference is an essential part of our existence. But when difference creates a thick wall that separates us and prevents us from having a healthy society, it becomes harmful. We can not wipe away difference from existence.. We can not throw all those who differ with us in the sea.. We have to learn to live together.. I am sorry to use "learn".. I would rather have used "remember", because we actually used to live together, and we actually used to support positive change and progress in spite of our differences. But, since we have lost the tools which enabled us to do this in the past, then we have to learn from the start and create new tools.

As women, we are all second-class. We all sip the bitterness of discrimination and inequality. It is such a shame that instead of joining hands to regain our human condition, we are allowing our differences to blindfold us and distract our efforts away from the main target. It is such a shame to turn against each other and seek to make more divisions. It is such a shame to see women practicing discrimination against other women. It is such a shame when we split into groups and form exclusive clubs. It is such a shame when women seek isolation from other women. And today I publish this pathetic example to ring a bell.. Is there anybody listening?