Why I love my period

Unlike what most women feel about their monthly period, I certainly love my period. Don't get me wrong, it's nothing gross. Of course, like all females I hate the cramps, the mood swings, the headache, the bloating and all this. But, the thing is.. we were like two enemies and then we finally became friends.

Let me start from the very beginning. If you're a female you can imagine the horrifying experience of the first time you had your period. So natural, yet ugly. My mom as usual kept in the dark until boom.. I came of age. Surely enough, I was scared. I thought I was injured somehow, and in the place where I was never allowed to examine or even look at. I still can hear all the warnings going through my head "Never ever touch yourself down there," Never ever look down there," "Just wipe yourself quickly clean after you pee, that's all." I thought that the devil lived down there and that he has punched me with his pitchfork on that day.

My mom came back home for the surprise of her life. I hadn't still made it to the 5th grade and I already had my period. She just gave me a sanitary towel. I still remember the brand, "Loulou", the same she used. She showed me how to stick it inside my pants and that's it. She didn't care to give any explanation. What is this? Why? Will it happen again? What am I supposed to do now? Nothing was said. I had to ask: "Mom, what happened?" She looked far away as if she got suddenly absent-minded, and after a long pause she said, "Nothing, it's normal, every girl has it. Don't worry."
Me: Has what? What the hell is this?
Mom: It's called the period. You'll see it every month.
Me: Why does it happen? Where does the blood come from?
Mom: Hey, hey. enough questions. Just keep yourself dry by using these towels I gave you until it ends.
Me: When does it end?
Mom: Two or three days from now.
Me: Why didn't it happen before?
Mom: You were so young. You are still so young, but it means that you now are a woman.
Me (Laughing): Wow! I grew up?
It has always been my wish and my prayer to God to make me grow up fast so that people will treat me like an adult. I thought God made my wish come true. But my mom didn't like me laughing about it.
Mom (interrupting my dreams): What are you laughing about? This is filthy. You are not clean until it ends. You should take care from now on.
Me: Take care of what? Am I not ok?
Mom: No, you're not ok during those days of bleeding. You're sick. You should stay in bed.
Me: But I'm feeling alright.
Mom: Why are you always arguing? Of all the girls of the world God gave me the most troublesome!
Me: Sorry, but I just wanna know. That's all. Take it easy.

This was the last time ever to ask my mom about anything. I learned my lesson. I wondered why she wasn't happy on that day. Unlike my father, who congratualted me and gave me a big hug.

When I got back to school I expected that all the girls had had the same experience. Well, that's what my mom said, right? All girls have it?. But none of them seemed to know what I was asking about. I then came confused and whenever I had my period I got scared and kept checking the back of my skirt several times to see if there are any stains. I must have looked so suspicions back then. I then started having all the negative feelings about growing up. Growing up alone was bad enough, I felt isolated. I couldn't run and play the ball with the other kids during those days. I kept excusing the teachers to be able to go to the restroom during classes. I started having the pain and the headaches that made it difficult for me to concentrate and I got depressed. I hated being a woman and I hated my period for making me a woman. I wanted to return a kid. It was far better. At least I wouldn't walk with those Loulous hanging between my legs. (It was the worst brand ever, it would never stick to its place. Oh, Thank God for the Always Ultra of today.)

Two years after, things were so different. Most of the girls had shared the experience by then. They were all so curious about what has happened to them. It was certainly miserable to have this shock while you're at school, being totally ignorant about it. A few had been enlightened by their mothers before they had the shock, but the majority were in the dark just like me. Most of the mothers were not any better than mine when it came to this issue it seems. I then discovered that it's normal. Still things were wrapped in mystery.

I went to the school library to search for answers. I found my treasure: A book about teenaging. I borrowed the book and kept reading it all day after school. I did nothing else. Read it from cover to cover. I didn't sleep that night. I was so amazed. It's like Pandora's box had suddenly opened in front of me. The book talked about stages of growth, psychological and emotional changes, menstruation, masturbation, sexual identity, everything that I was totally blank about. This is definitely the day in which I really grew up. I left the Disney world and I entered the real world. I discovered that in spite of all the education I was having, all the exams, all the difficult subjects and the high grades I was scoring, all were a zero. I was ignorant. Not only ignorant about the world, but about myself. Never before had I thought about things like how we grow up? (I only knew I am one year older when I blew off my birthday candles) what happens after we grow up? how do people get married? how do they have kids? why do they have kids? what's the aim of life? what are ethics? how can a person be ethical? and many many other things. My mind suddenly exploded with questions. But I kept them all locked into my head, never asked anyone, especially adults. I no more trusted them. I dicovered they were all liars. At that point I didn't care to understand why they were lying, I just knew they were liars. The only good adults were those who wrote facts in books. Books became my dearest friends, they never lied to me. (They are still my best friends now, although I discovered that some of them lie as well.)

I kept reading and reading all the time. I was always afraid that life was too short to read all the books in the world. I wanted to read them all. My hate for school became bitter. I started being aggressive with my teachers. I ignored studying. I felt I was way above all this. I would instead search for books about the topics in the schoolbooks and read them. I truly grew up, fast, super fast. Nothing could stop me. I would look any adult in the eye and feel like an equal. I got the same knowledge that he/she has and keeps as a secret, as if it is dividing them from babies. My self-confidence boomed and I was considered by many to be arrogant (that's why I failed to make new friends, my old friends were the only ones who knew the truth, and I managed to keep them till now.) I grew stubborn, cause my beliefs were based on facts, so I felt I had a solid ground to stand on, and almost nothing could sway me. My parents felt I was impossible. My success kept them from saying any negative comments. If they ever said one, I would stand tall and look them in the eye, saying "What do you want? I'm a perfect daughter. I know my duties well and I am the most successful one among my peers. What more? Do you just want to control me? Do you just want to feel the pleasure that parents get from designing the lives of their children, ultimately ruining them? I'm not a puppet, and never will be." Of course after hearing a 13 year old talk in that way, you freak out. I myself sometimes freaked out. Sometimes I was surprised at my ability to come up with the perfect answers in different situations. I faced people with reality without being rude. (At least I sincerely avoided being rude)

As I grew older, I understood many things. Everything thing for me became a subject for analysis. I was the youngest one to own a computer (at that time) and I was able to use all its applications perfectly. I then insisted to work during the summer. My parents yelled a bit, then they agreed cause I had had everything settled. This made me even more independent and made me more self-confident. All of the limitations that the world set for me kept falling one by one. Being young didn't prevent me from achieving what adults achieve. I could learn, I could understand, I could work and earn my own living. Being a girl didn't stand in the way, I was far better than all the boys (and some of the men) in my family. I didn't stay in bed during my period, even when it was most painful. I didn't do like the girls who act out the fatigue, as if saying out loud "I'm having my period, please take pity on me." I discovered that they were acting out the social picture, while in fact they can be perfectly fine. I took something for the headache and vitamines which kept me going very normally. I learned the benefits of my period and how it can tell me exactly how healthy I am. I sometimes make it work for my own benefit, taking it as an excuse to skip my weight-trainning session at the gym, for example. I loved the idea that my body is working in an organized cycle, that I can monitor its performance. I know when I will be in high spirits and use this extra energy. I know when I'll get depressed and be sure that there's nothing wrong. I know when I'll be easily provoked and prevent it.

Men always refer to our period as a disadvantage, saying that it makes us crazy and sick. They take it as an excuse to prevent us from having certain jobs and holding high positions in our country. This is bullshit! Why don't we ever hear this stupid argument in civilized countries? Why don't they say to their prime minister, "Oh, you're a woman, so you get a period which makes you crazy, then you can't govern us." Why are we the only females who get ashamed of their period? It is only a cultural and social heritage, that has nothing to do with reality. My own period was one of the reasons why I advanced in life. Let yours act in the same way.

Your Guide to Dating an Egyptian Man

Types of Egyptian Men:

The Pathetic Pretender
All men are pretenders. They usually show a face which hides its total opposite. They can't show their true colors, cause they are too weak to do so. Their inflated egos are another reason why they are never straight. They simply can't take rejection. That's why they would go round and round before they express their interest in you. They just can't handle it if you say Thanks, not interested. They take it as a personal insult. How dare you reject him? That's why they just keep wasting time, and when things don't work, they come up with all the pathetic excuses to ease their ballooned egos! Poor Bastards!

The Lousy Actor
He plays the most horrible romantic roles while his eyes are on the prize. If you are still as naïve as to think that there is really a romantic guy, like those you see in movies, then I'm sorry to break the news. Just as there is no Santa, there is no such a man. I happened to be buying some stationary on Valentine's Day when I met a guy who is so full of himself. He just stepped in and said to the vendor, I want something nice, beautifully wrapped and doesn't exceed 20 EGP! He then moved on to talk to his friend, and whenever the vendor called on him to ask his opinion about an item she holds in her hands, he just waves to her and says Anything, anything. And to complete my amusement, his poor girlfriend called while he stood right in front of me. They seemed to be confirming their Valentine's date, and he just kept pouring words of how he can't wait to meet her and how special she is. Yeah, hell..

The Mentally Retarded
I said all men are pretenders; I don't have to repeat it on every line. Those cavemen who hold the brains of their great great great grandfathers are usually the ones who keep talking about daring subjects and radical thoughts. They will take about women rights and how girls are misunderstood, bla bla bla.. Only so you wake up on the ugly reality: he is mentally sick! He wants to believe that he has his own personality, but he is empty, just parroting stuff that he knows would appeal to a stylish girl. As things develop he will won't stop giving you one cultural shock after another. Black comedy!

The Featherless Peacock
Oh, the guy who fell in love with himself, therefore he has no room for anyone else. He just thinks that he's God's gift to the world. However, you'll shortly find out that this peacock has no feathers. His personality is as lacking as his mind. He might look handsome, be popular, athletic, funny, but with no brain. Just a useless bird which can't even fly!

The Know-it-all
Many of you have seen him. A talking machine about almost every topic that anyone can think of, he will never stop proving that he is Mr. Know-it-all. And therefore he imposes his views, decides for you, criticizes your actions and thoughts, interrupts your conversations, makes fun of your ideas, undermines your success, and would never admit you were right about anything. He constantly feels he is in a competition with you before anybody else. He will do anything to make you live in his shadow, and will give you no chance to speak up your mind. He is scared whenever you show any sign of intellectual freedom or independence, cause he wants to be your one and only reference. He is never sick of giving advice which he takes for granted that you must follow. Ugh, what a pain in the ***!

The Boring Stalker
Most guys will bore you to death after the first few dates. After the talk about themselves is over (which they do persistently and quickly to satisfy their egos) they will just keep talking about anything. Yeah, those who say girls are talkative try to see a man on a date. I bet you to catch a glimpse of the girl talking. The talking won't stop by the end of the date. No, no, it just keeps getting worse. Phone stalking.. Good morning calls, good afternoon calls, good evening calls, good night calls, how do you do calls, did you reach your home calls, what are you doing now calls. Calls, calls, calls.. Endless calls.. And even more calls.. SMSs all day long.. He will keep stalking you all day in this way. He feels that if he leaves you for one hour, you might have time with yourself when you will think and maybe evaluate the relationship. So, he has to distract you all the time. He wants to make your whole day revolve around him, in the hope to make you addicted. Then if there is a day when one of the 1000 calls didn't arrive you will go insane, and that's how he can cut you off the drug as punishment whenever he wants. Who needs this for God's sake?

The Perverted Preacher
The double-faced serpent, who will preach about morals and values while he enjoys himself in the dark.. He is mostly the one looking for a serious relationship. He will use a serious voice tone, talk about religion, about his dream of a happy family, about how disciplined he is. This is a type that is very common nowadays, especially with most girls now being veiled. He thus gains her trust and then demand further things: no male friends, no female friends whom he thinks aren't good enough, no going out without his permission (Yeah, he plays the role of her father), no clothes that are tight, (I even heard an incident which included no internet!) and on goes the list of orders. If she shows to be obedient, he might be generous enough to make her Mrs. Perverted Preacher. This poor girl will only find out about his other life too late.

The Loser
He never attends his classes, never reads a book, never reads a newspaper, never talks about anything of subject, and never intends to do anything serious with his life. He's the dandy cool guy, who throws tomorrow behind his back. He will switch from one girl to another just to pass the time. If a serious girl ever decides to have a relationship with him, he will have absolutely nothing to offer her but disappointment. You can never ask him about the future. The word "plan" doesn't exist in his dictionary. And time is of no value. He just wants to have fun (as opposed to Cindy Lowper's famous song). You will be gloomy if you keep reminding him of his failures. He will never change. And if you marry him, get ready to afford for him and raise him up with your children. He will never grow up and no matter how old he gets, he will continue to be an irresponsible kid. With the number of losers increasing, a lot of recently married couples depend on the wife as the bread earner.

The Thief
Today's thieves won't snatch your purse, they will try to date you instead. It is amazing how many couples I know in which the girl allows herself to be robbed by her boyfriend! She will pay the bills at the cafes, buy cinema tickets, get his mobile recharge cards, lend him cash, buy him clothes, gets him presents … etc. Sorry girls, but your boyfriends are only thieves! To avoid this early enough never date a guy who is socially beneath you in first place. Watch out for any signs of miserly behavior. If he takes you to cheap places, orders the cheapest items on the menu, rings you to call him back, use his work phone to call you during the day and avoids evening calls, makes up excuses for not attending events or buying presents... etc. Never offer to pay a bill in full. Never buy him expensive gifts. Never ever give him your credit card!

A Combination of Two or More of the Previous Types

Thought it was bad enough so far? No, it just keeps getting worse!

As you can see, it is like a cat searching for dinner in a trash can. Whatever she ends up with, is still trash!