Egyptian Men.. Wutz Up with You?

Egypt men say 'I don't' to woman marriage registrar

CAIRO (AFP) — The appointment this week of Egypt's first woman able to conduct Muslim marriages has sparked controversy in the religious country, particularly from men who see their status being challenged.

Amal Soliman, 32, is the first woman in the Middle East and possibly the Muslim world to be authorised to perform wedding ceremonies and sign marriage and divorce contracts.
Straddling the worlds of bureaucracy and religion -- two pillars of Egyptian society -- the graduate in civil and criminal law said she is "more qualified" than her colleagues to perform the function of "maazun".

Justice Minister Mamduh Mari stressed that Soliman's nomination depended on her abilities rather than on her gender, but it has raised eyebrows and anger on the streets in the male-dominated Arab country.

"I completely reject the idea," Mahmud Ali, a bearded 40-year-old, told AFP in Cairo. "There must be religious texts forbidding this... there are also obstacles on a social level, she would always take the woman's side."

"This idea won't spread, it's a one-off and it won't last."
Ahmed Abdel Rehim declared simply: "A woman cannot do this job. I would never have a female maazun at my wedding."

But officials, eager to portray an image of equality, welcomed the decision.
"I'm not shocked at all, it's a purely legal job, reading Koranic verses and conducting a marriage," said Ali Saman, former head of Al-Azhar University's religious dialogue committee.
"A maazun is a judicial assistant, a notary... so it's a job that women can do."

In 2005, US-based Amina Wadud sparked controversy in the Muslim world, including in Egypt, when she led prayers in New York, with some clerics saying it went against Islamic doctrine.
"A female imam (who leads prayers in a mosque) is different, that's to be debated by specialists but a female maazun who signs and officialises a marriage certificate there's no problem," he said.

"There are no religious texts banning a Muslim woman from being a maazun," said Al-Azhar's deputy director Sheikh Fawzi Zafzaf. "But when a woman is menstruating she must not enter a mosque or read Koranic verses and that will affect her job, so for this reason we say it is not advisable to have a woman maazun."

Women's rights in Egypt have a long and occasionally rocky history. Egyptian women were allowed to vote and stand for office in 1956. But they are notable in their absence from Egyptian courtrooms, even those dealing with family law. A first group of 30 women judges was authorised to practice in March 2007.

"Islam guarantees women's rights, whatever is said about the inferiority of women is a lie," said Zafzaf.

"Why not support women?" said Shawkiya Rawash, in her 50s. "If she can be an example to follow, if she manages to do her job well, why not? I'm in favour."
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And I'm in favor too, Shawkiya. Thank you so much. But, you know what? Egyptian men seem to have got issues with this..

Now, let's speak seriously, please guys. What's up with you, men? Huh?

Al-Azhar seems to me to be so messed up on this subject. And unfortunately, I've been one miserable victim who watched this issue being debated live on Egyptian TV. Gotta tell you.. I just felt SICK of all the biased trash I heard.

I've talked about this before in my comment on EFC's first post here. And I told her about Al-Azhar's unjustified objection to the court sentence in this case back then. This woman, Amal Soliman, has earned her basic rights through a long needless battle with the justice system. And even after that, the judge was reluctant, and he insisted that an official approval by the Fatwa Committee of Al-Azhar is a must for Amal to get her legal rights in holding her job.

I saw Amal Soliman on TV.. She is such a decent woman, and she has got all what it takes to have this job. She holds a masters degree in law, and her work experience has enabled her to beat 10 male candidates in order to become maazun. Moreover, she faced lots of unjustifiable complications, and was deprived of her right to start practicing her new job. But she didn't give up. She fought for her right. She filed a lawsuit against her employers, and got a court sentence in her favor. So.. Why the hell had Al-Azhar's committee denied her permission to get that job, and why the hell did they suddenly change their minds?

And please allow me to ask, WHAT THE HELL is Al-Azhar's deputy director saying?!!

I'm sorry. With all my respect to Al-Azhar and its men.. But this man doesn't seem to make any sense in his speech. And I am sorry to repeat his meaningless and contradictory statements down here.

He said, "There are no religious texts banning a Muslim woman from being a maazun."
Right.. Then why did Al-Azhar reject Mrs. Soliman's request the first time? And how can they forbid what God Himself has not forbidden? How can anyone dare to ban something, on religious basis, although God has never banned it?

OK.. Let's assume that they realized they were mistaken. Now, check out what Sheikh Zafzaf says right after: "But when a woman is menstruating she must not enter a mosque or read Koranic verses and that will affect her job, so for this reason we say it is not advisable to have a woman maazun."

Wait a minute! Did I just read this again? I really wish this is just a bad dream.. But did this man actually say "it is not advisable to have a woman maazun"? Come on! Are we kidding here or what?

Or.. Are we playing some kind of a very old game that men are never tired of playing? They give you something by one hand, and take it by the other.

Zafzaf, haven't you learned in Al-Azhar that lying is haram? I mean, this is a lesson we learn in 1st primary.. Yet, in your case, I assume that lying is not a good thing to do at all, since you are Al-Azhar's deputy director! Who are you speaking to please now? God or society?.. Or the beduin patriarchal society, to be more specific?

Zafzaf, you know that the maazun's job has got nothing to do with the mosque. And you know that the prayers said at the wedding are part of the cermony, not the legal process of writing and officiating the marriage certificate. Thus, you are misleading people - on purpose - to make them believe that this woman will actually hold the hands of the groom and the bride's father under a white handkerchief to recite the usual lines said at the wedding ceremony. Isn't this a lie Zafzaf? Aren't you twisting facts A LOT here? Isn't this a very bad and cheap con job?

And then you dare say, "whatever is said about the inferiority of women is a lie"!!.. Man, you've just said that this woman's period will affect her job!

Now, this is a double lie. You've discriminated against this woman, and all other women who would want to have the same job.. You've told people not to hire this woman for their weddings, for God's sake! And then you go ahead saying "the inferiority of women is a lie"?! That's way too much.. Seriously.

Zafzaf.. I'm sorry, but you don't belong to a respectable religious institution like Al-Azhar. You rather belong with some male chauvinistic movement . You are a disgrace to the position you hold, really. You deform Islam to satisfy your male buddies.

Thumbs down Azhar!.. Both thumbs down!.. And I will tell all my family and friends to hire this woman for their weddings. Shame on you men.


* I'd like to thank Raaasa for inspiring this post and providing the AFP link

The Scum Manifesto

An interesting book with a very interesting message. If you are a man who is generally angry at feminists, this would at least give you a good reason to be mad. But still, the message of the book remains intriguing.

The book is entitled The S.C.U.M Manifesto (Society for Cutting Up Men). It is written by Valerie Solanas, one of the most controversial and notorious women in American feminist history. She actually became famous after attempting to murder three men in 1968. She actually turned herself in to the police on the same day to make a statement about why she shot those men. She received a sentence of three years, and became a martyr by the time of her release. But she came out only to go on stalking those who escaped death on the day she shot them. She then spent the rest of her life in mental hospitals.

Solanas wrote The SCUM Manifesto on the same year she was charged with attempted murder. By then, she had been a playwright. Her first play, was to be produced by one of the men she wanted to kill. But apparently he never returned her script and only gave her a small role in one of his films as compensation. Later on, when she demanded that he returns the script or pay her for it, he claimed that he lost it and refused to give her any money for it. Solanas apparently did not need the money, because she used to self-published her works at the time. She was protecting her copyrights it seems, but her own way.. How dare he steal her script! One thing you must keep in mind buddy: DON'T MESS WITH AN ANGRY WOMAN.

Anyway.. Solanas' Manifesto was meant to be an attack on the patriarchal culture, promoting the idea of a violent revolution to establish an all-female society. What is most outstanding about the book is that in spite of its extremism and furious style, and aside from the violent message it conveys, it actually makes lots of sense when dealing with social analysis and scientific facts. (It gets most interesting when she describes her theory that a male is actually an incomplete female, which is the total opposite of the Freudian theory.) You wouldn't expect this to be the work of a mad woman! But everybody wanted to believe that this woman was mad.. This was the sixties, don't forget.

Below I shall list some of my favorite quotes from The SCUM Manifesto, and I will also provide a link where you can read the book in full text. Yeah.. That's a free bonus! Fanta's gift for Valentine. Enjoy :)

"Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation and destroy the male sex.

It is now technically feasible to reproduce without the aid of males (or, for that matter, females) and to produce only females. We must begin immediately to do so. The male is a biological accident: the Y (male) gene is an incomplete X (female) gene, that is, it has an incomplete set of chromosomes. In other words, the male is an incomplete female, a walking abortion, aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.

The male is completely egocentric, trapped inside himself, incapable of empathizing or identifying with others, or love, friendship, affection of tenderness. He is a completely isolated unit, incapable of rapport with anyone. His responses are entirely visceral, not cerebral; his intelligence is a mere tool in the services of his drives and needs; he is incapable of mental passion, mental interaction; he can't relate to anything other than his own physical sensations. He is a half-dead, unresponsive lump, incapable of giving or receiving pleasure or happiness; consequently, he is at best an utter bore, an inoffensive blob, since only those capable of absorption in others can be charming. He is trapped in a twilight zone halfway between humans and apes, and is far worse off than the apes because, unlike the apes, he is capable of a large array of negative feelings -- hate, jealousy, contempt, disgust, guilt, shame, doubt -- and moreover, he is aware of what he is and what he isn't."

"Being an incomplete female, the male spends his life attempting to complete himself, to become female. He attempts to do this by constantly seeking out, fraternizing with and trying to live through an fuse with the female, and by claiming as his own all female characteristics -- emotional strength and independence, forcefulness, dynamism, decisiveness, coolness, objectivity, assertiveness, courage, integrity, vitality, intensity, depth of character, grooviness, etc -- and projecting onto women all male traits -- vanity, frivolity, triviality, weakness, etc. It should be said, though, that the male has one glaring area of superiority over the female -- public relations. (He has done a brilliant job of convincing millions of women that men are women and women are men). The male claim that females find fulfillment through motherhood and sexuality reflects what males think they'd find fulfilling if they were female.

Women, in other words, don't have penis envy; men have pussy envy. When the male accepts his passivity, defines himself as a woman... He then achieves a continuous diffuse sexual feeling from `being a woman'."

"There is no human reason for money or for anyone to work more than two or three hours a week at the very most. All non-creative jobs (practically all jobs now being done) could have been automated long ago, and in a moneyless society everyone can have as much of the best of everything as she wants. But there are non-human, male reasons for wanting to maintain the money system."

"Unable to give love or affection, the male gives money. It makes him feel motherly. The mother gives milk; he gives bread. He is the Breadwinner."

"[Money] Provide the basis for the male's major opportunity to control and manipulate -- fatherhood."

"Mother wants what's best for her kids; Daddy only wants what's best for Daddy, that is peace and quiet, pandering to his delusion of dignity (`respect'), a good reflection on himself (status) and the opportunity to control and manipulate, or, if he's an `enlightened' father, to `give guidance'... Daddy, unlike Mother, can never give in to his kids, as he must, at all costs, preserve his delusion of decisiveness, forcefulness, always-rightness and strength. Never getting one's way leads to lack of self-confidence in one's ability to cope with the world and to a passive acceptance of the status quo. Mother loves her kids, although she sometimes gets angry, but anger blows over quickly and even while it exists, doesn't preclude love and basic acceptance. Emotionally diseased Daddy doesn't love his kids; he approves of them -- if they're `good', that is, if they're nice, `respectful', obedient, subservient to his will, quiet and not given to unseemly displays of temper that would be most upsetting to Daddy's easily disturbed male nervous system -- in other words, if they're passive vegetables. If they're not `good', he doesn't get angry -- not if he's a modern, `civilized' father -- but rather express disapproval, a state that, unlike anger, endures and precludes a basic acceptance, leaving the kid with the feeling of worthlessness and a lifelong obsession wit being approved of; the result is fear of independent thought, as this leads to unconventional, disapproved of opinions and way of life.

For the kid to want Daddy's approval it must respect Daddy, and being garbage, Daddy can make sure that he is respected only by remaining aloof, by distantness, by acting on the precept of `familiarity breeds contempt', which is, of course, true, if one is contemptible. By being distant and aloof, he is able to remain unknown, mysterious, and thereby, to inspire fear (`respect')."

"The affect of fatherhood on males, specifically, is to make them `Men', that is, highly defensive of all impulses to passivity, faggotry, and of desires to be female. Every boy wants to imitate his mother, be her, fuse with her, but Daddy forbids this; he is the mother; he gets to fuse with her. So he tells the boy, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly, to not be a sissy, to act like a `Man'. The boy, scared shitless of and `respecting' his father, complies, and becomes just like Daddy, that model of `Man'-hood.

The effect of fatherhood on females is to make them male -- dependent, passive, domestic, animalistic, insecure, approval and security seekers, cowardly, humble, `respectful' of authorities and men, closed, not fully responsive, half-dead, trivial, dull, conventional, flattened-out and thoroughly contemptible. Daddy's Girl, always tense and fearful, uncool, unanalytical, lacking objectivity, appraises Daddy, and thereafter, other men, against a background of fear (`respect') and is not only unable to see the empty shell behind the facade, but accepts the male definition of himself as superior, as a female, and of herself, as inferior, as a male, which, thanks to Daddy, she really is."


Reducing the female to an animal, to Mama, to a male, is necessary for psychological as well as practical reasons: the male is a mere member of the species, interchangeable with every other male. He has no deep-seated individuality, which stems from what intrigues you, what outside yourself absorbs you, what you're in relation to. Completely self-absorbed, capable of being in relation only to their bodies and physical sensations, males differ from each other only to the degree and in the ways they attempt to defend against their passivity and against their desire to be female.

The female's individuality, which he is acutely aware of, but which he doesn't comprehend and isn't capable of relating to or grasping emotionally, frightens and upsets him and fills him with envy. So he denies it in her and proceeds to define everyone in terms of his or her function or use, assigning to himself, of course, the most important functions -- doctor, president, scientist -- therefore providing himself with an identity, if not individuality, and tries to convince himself and women that the female function is to bear and raise children and to relax, comfort and boost the ego if the male; that her function is such as to make her interchangeable with every other female. In actual fact, the female function is to relate, groove, love and be herself, irreplaceable by anyone else; the male function is to produce sperm."

"In actual fact, the female function is to explore, discover, invent, solve problems crack jokes, make music -- all with love. In other words, create a magic world."


Read full text of The S.C.U.M Manifesto

For the love of the Game...and so much more.

An average person walking in the streets of Cairo can look around and see a parade of people who walk by every day. They come from all over Egypt, of many social and economical classes. The variety of Egyptians walking in the Egyptian street on any given day is astounding. Yet they all have one thing in common. It has been going on for some time now, but so far, not many people have been able to confront the epidemic that has slowly taken over our country... silently infiltrating everyone's life, and changing it for the worse... yet as Egyptians, we go on from day to day oblivious to the danger lurking ahead of us... hiding in plain sight. You will see that this danger affects both men and women, young and old. It affects our economy and our well being. It costs billions of dollars every year to manage problems caused by this silent epidemic. The solution to this problem is in our hands. It is an easy solution, yet it isn't available for everyone... In this problem as well as many others, women always get the short end of the stick!





What silent epidemic am I talking about you ask??? Obesity!! A casual observation of Egypt will show you that more and more people are gaining weight. This is not an Egyptian problem per se... It is a world wide epidemic. Countries all over the world are working hard to reverse this epidemic, yet as Egyptians, resources are limited, and people have bigger concerns to worry about rather than their weight. A lot of people believe this is a vanity issue, and as they get older or get married, they feel that there is no reason to care about this now. They would rather concentrate on their budget, or saving for their children, or the kids schools and exams...etc. In older days, Egyptians believed that gaining weight was a sign of economic abundance and wealth. They believed that a fatter person is better looking than a thin hungry person. It was a symbol of social status. Yet sadly, things are not as simple as they seem. Being overweight is associated with a higher risk of many diseases including diabetes, heart disease, stroke,hypertension, infertility, cancer...etc. In a country where health care and the cost of many medications is subsidized by the government, this is one of the many causes of financial woes that afflict Egypt and its economy...... with millions of people being diagnosed with these diseases at younger and younger ages, the impact on the entire economy is gigantic, and if we are all not careful, it will get worse as time goes by. Besides the cost of health care, and medications, people with these diseases will die younger, or will be crippled for life by one or more of the diseases, and will be a burden to society instead of a contributing factor to economic growth. Although many Egyptians read more and realize the importance of not becoming overweight, the idea that gaining weight is a much coveted status symbol still continues in Egyptian society. If a person loses weight, friends, family , and neighbors, automatically assume he/she is sick or has a health problem. People will start asking questions about his health, and why so much weight is lost, even though it may only be a couple of kilos. When a man proposes to a slender woman, his family will constantly criticize her weight and encourage her to gain more weight, because women are "supposed" to be chubby!!This kind of peer pressure has a huge influence on the prevalence of obesity in the Egyptian community as a whole, and on women in particular. Mothers are also encouraged to "fatten up" their baby so that the baby is "mekalbaz", which is equated to being cute!!WHO data shows that in Egypt more than 25 percent of 4-year-olds are fat. The number of fat cells in the human body can increase during the first year of life. After a person is older, fat cells get bigger or smaller when weight is gained, but the number of cells remains the same. When all mothers overfeed their babies, these babies will have more fat cells than they would have otherwise had. And with that many fat cells in their body, they are more likely to gain weight as adults, and will be more predisposed to obesity than children who were not overfed.

Egyptian school age children on the other hand have a slight advantage over the rest of the population. In sporting clubs all over Cairo and Alexandria, and many other smaller cities, especially in more affluent neighborhoods, mothers spend the summers taking their children to practice, and most kids are encouraged to participate in sports. Now this is a good start that needs to be encouraged, but once kids reach their teens, boys will continue to play sports, and girls are not. With the onset of puberty the frank discrimination against women begins. If a girl is a swimmer she is told that she is getting too old, , and it is no longer acceptable in the community for a girl to wear a swimming suit to practice a sport the way boys are allowed to do. The same with most other sports. Girls are "protected" and discouraged from "displaying" their body by moving, which is encouraged for boys!! Girls are groomed to be future housewives, so most girls will start to have more responsibilities in the house, while the boys are encouraged to participate in sports and their triumphs are celebrated. Most girls will eventually quit sports all together. Very few girls in their late teens actually practice sports, and most go hang out with friends rather than continue a habit that would have been healthy and good for their overall well being. This brings us to the current trend in Egypt. Although obesity is a problem for all Egyptians, at the age of 15, when girls are developing into young women, and social restrictions and frank discrimination starts, the WHO show deviation from the standard model of male and female obesity. Meaning that women suddenly begin putting on much more weight than men...although as children the weight issues were comparable in both males and females.

The Body mass index is a measurement of body weight in relation to height, and is used to assess the percentage of body fat in a person. The optimal BMI of a population is around 21. 25 or more is overweight and predisposed to diseases, and 30 or more is obese... meaning severely overweight! As shown in the previous graphs, at the age of 15, half of Egyptian women are overweight, and around 10% are obese. The weight problem escalates as women get older to reach 90% of women over 45 being overweight, and out of the total female population, more than 67% are obese by the age of 45.. In short, we are turning into a country where only a quarter of the women are not predisposed to massive health risk, and early death and life long diseases!!

In Egypt, the average woman's life expectancy is 73.6 years, based on the data published in the 2007 CIA world fact book. This means that these women will live for at least 30 years while being overweight, and suffering from its consequences on their health, well being, as well as that of their family, and that of the Egyptian community as a whole.


So what has Egypt offered as a whole to these women to help control the problem, and as a society how do we band together to keep our families happy and healthy? Not enough according to the current trends. Men can participate in sports without restrictions, and among adults, young single men are the ones who participate in sports the most. Women's sports are not as important, and rarely if ever publicized or encouraged. Wouldn't it be a fair assessment to say that we need to educate Egyptians about the importance of physical exercise on their well being? Shouldn't we teach them about their body mass index and how to eat healthy to control their weight and cholesterol? Funding for preventive medicine and public health is dedicated towards children and vaccinations.. which is very important, but adult preventive medicine is never a priority. If we want to improve our economy as a whole , and our society, we need to educate adults about their own health. This would cut millions of pounds spent annually on health care.In order for this to be accomplished, we need to educate women first. Women will teach their children, and husbands, who traditionally are more resistant to change , will follow suit. The key to a healthy Egyptian community is having mothers who are educated about the methods of maintaining their family's health and well being, as well as being role models for their children, who will follow in their mothers footsteps. Women need to be encouraged to change their attitude towards physical activity. They need to learn that it is okay to move. It is not a sin to exercise, and whether they dress in hegab or not should not stop you from practicing a sport you love. They also need to learn that becoming a wife and a mother should not stop you from maintaining your health and that of your family.. in fact, it is your duty to stay healthy for your well being and for the well being of your own children..... And of course we go back to our eternal problem... our patriarchal society and the restrictions it imposes on any woman living in that society, and the ignorance of some men when it comes to physical activity of women in general, and women in sports in particular. In short, the key to all of this is Education!


A typical example of the restrictions placed on women when it comes to playing sports in Egypt is soccer...Most, if not all, Egyptian men play soccer. Soccer is the Egyptian all time favorite game. Men play soccer wherever there is an empty space, a ball, and other men. Most Egyptian households are divided into supporters of certain teams...Growing up in Egypt, it was common to be asked by kids in school if you are "ahlawy", or" zamalkawy"... you had to be one of them... there was no 3rd choice.( teams may be different for today's children) When one team wins, its supporters would storm the streets of Cairo celebrating, honking their horns screaming their team's name, holding signs out of car windows... As a child it gives you the feeling the whole world is celebrating this important event. In a nation such as this, you would expect soccer to be played by both girls and boys, and as they get older, men and women would play, and having a men's team as well as a women's team is the norm.... however this is not the case. Until recently, the only team in the public eye was the men's team. Women did not play soccer. If they try to, it would be a joke, and no one would take them seriously... they would be the laughing stock of their community.... That is until recently when some very brave Egyptian women decided to take on the system . It all started with a brave woman called Sahar Elhawary Who took it upon herself to build the first Women's soccer team in Egypt.She started recruiting players in the 90's and took it upon herself to train them and prepare them for the game. It wasn't until the new millennium that the women's soccer team was recognized by Egypt and was known as the Egyptian women's team. They even qualified for the first African women's soccer cup, and snatched the victory, however it was not widely publicized, or celebrated like any of the events involving men's soccer. Since then there have been changes in society, especially among young girls. Girls' soccer teams have popped up everywhere, and women are finally being recognized as soccer players too. However the road is not all smooth sailing, and many attitudes need to change before women's soccer can reach its full potential. Women soccer players were recently interviewed by Aljazeera in a very interesting mini documentary.

As you can see by this documentary, The women were there solely for the sport, and the one that felt that she needed to wear a headscarf, came up with a compromise and wore leggings underneath her shorts, while still maintaining her right to practice an enjoyable activity, and be a part of a national team. Younger Egyptian men had a very negative idea about women and their right to practice sports. While the women's soccer team is practicing in the background in a soccer field, a male player nearby tells the camera: “If my fiancee wanted to play football, I would forbid her. I only respect men playing. It could also distract her from her home. In Egypt we believe the woman's place is in her home.” So he actually feels the need to "forbid" his future wife excercising or participating in a sport, since he believes her sole function in life is caring for him, his kids and his house... her own well being, whether physical or mental, is not part of the equation. Another says of a female player: “She cannot wear a headscarf and play. This is against religion. Football and sports are forbidden for women.” So this young man's idea is that God has forbidden women from participating in sports... The coach , who appears to be in his 30's actually praises the girls saying they have better endurance. On the other hand, the older gentlemen who were interviewed had a more positive outlook... They have probably been young men in the 60's and 70's, before Wahabi influence infiltrated Egypt and changed its identity and culture. Their take on women's soccer is that it is good for girls to play sports to occupy their time, and that since the game is in public and she is wearing decent shorts, then it is a positive thing, and their overall impression is quite encouraging. (You will notice how these middle class men identified decent clothes by logical means, rather than thinking that any clothes that dont cover a woman from head to foot are indecent, so they were okay with wearing shorts while participating in a sport... never once saying that since they are women we should stop them from wearing the international dress code of soccer players.) By comparing what the older men and the younger men have said, we can see what Egypt was at one point of time, and what it is becoming faster than we can imagine. Whatever happened to the open minded Egyptians that were once the norm? Why are our younger generations so oblivious to the danger their new ideas pose to themselves, their society, and their country as a whole? Doesn't it make sense that we would have had so many more female athletes and champions if Egyptian women were free to practice any sport they loved?

Whether the cause of this attitude is ignorance or Wahabi infiltration deep into our society, it needs to be stopped. Egyptian men need to go back to the way they were in the 60's and 70's. They need to respect women enough to give them autonomy over what they choose to do with their time, and no one should feel the need to "force" his wife or daughter not to exercise, because housework is not the reason God created women! Women need to learn more about maintaining their physical activity as they get older, and the dangers that they impose onto themselves by giving in to ideas that require them to leave life and sit at home as servants. I am not saying women should not care for their homes, but rather, women need to have activities besides their homes and the tedious amount of work that is needed for the upkeep of their households. By not having outside activities they are harming themselves, their families, community, and country. One of the best ways to get women to begin participating in sports is encouraging our women's soccer teams. The reason I specifically state soccer is because it is already popular, and people already accept it as a sport, so the work here is half done. If women's soccer becomes as socially acceptable as men's soccer, a large number of girls will learn to play, and participate in a national pastime that is enjoyed by both men and women, young and old. With the active participation of women in soccer, active participation in other sports will eventually become the norm, and the obesity epidemic will eventually come to an end. Of course media coverage is a huge factor in deciding how popular a sport will become, but in order for this to happen, people first have to show enough interest. For all the Egyptians out there, I say support your local girl's soccer team. The girls of today are the women of tomorrow, and their health and well being is the health and well being of our community.

Hijab as a Dress Code

Another visit to Egyptiana's blog and another discussion. This time, however, I am not being merely inspired by her latest post.. but I am also conversing with the ideas mentioned in it. First time ever to have something else to say other than agreeing with the brilliant ideas expressed by this dear friend, ever since I started blogging. I felt there was a need for someone to step in and clarify the blurry image that tends to generalize our view of the Other, with capital O. The inspiration came as I read the questions being raised at the end of her post:

لم اذن ندعى ان الحجاب خطأ بشرى فى حق النساء المسلمات؟؟؟انقول المثل على اليهوديةانجرؤ ان نقول المثل على الراهبات المسيحياتلا والله ما يستطيع ان يتدخل اى شخص فى حرية اليهودية او المسيحية... ولكن المسلمة تحتاج الى وصاية... الى من يقول لها افعلى هذا او ذاك... حجابك خطأ ... حجابك جاء من وراء البحر ثقافة بدوية تدعو الى قمع الحريات لا اهوى المهاترات او المناقشات العقيمة فى امور محسومة... وما هذا البوست الا دعوة للتدبر فى الامر... والتفكير فيه بتأنى ما كان الحجاب قيد... ولكن تجميد عقولنا ومحاولة فرض اراء تبدو فى ظاهرها حرة هو القيد العظيم

Why do we claim that hijab is a human fault committed against women? Do we say the same about the Jewish woman? Do we dare say the same about Christian nuns? No. I swear by God that nobody can interfere with the freedom of the Jewish or Christian women. . But the Muslim woman is in need of patronage.. of someone to tell her do this or that.. your hijab is wrong.. your hijab came from overseas.. a beduin culture promoting oppression. I don't like talking nonesense or aimlessly discussing what is well known. This post is only an invitation to reflect on this issue... Hijab is no bondage.. but freezing our minds and trying to force ideas which appear to be free is the great captivity.

At first sight, it may appear that the conclusion being made is about a well-defined group. But as one readers to search for such a definition, things start getting mixed up. The descriptions being stated as examples of what "this group" believes in, reveal that a wide range of people are gathered together in a single basket. Let's review each together:

1- Why do we claim that hijab is a human fault committed against women?

Not all people who believe that hijab is not doing good to women have the same reasons. There is a large range from conservatives to moderates to extremists, each group having their own reasons. Consequently, although they may agree on the disadvantages of hijab, they do not all share the same view about it. Therefore, assuming that they all have the same attitude towards hijab is so unfair.

2- Do we say the same about the Jewish woman? Do we dare say the same about Christian nuns? No. I swear by God that nobody can interfere with the freedom of the Jewish or Christian women.

Mmmmm.. There are those who say the same about Jewish and Christian women. They don't all interefere with their freedom. Some of them dare to do it. Others are not afraid, but don't interefere because they believe it is not the right thing to do.

3- But the Muslim woman is in need of patronage.. of someone to tell her do this or that.. your hijab is wrong.. your hijab came from overseas.. a beduin culture promoting oppression.

Which ones are we talking about here? Do all those who refuse to wear hijab patronize Muslim women or tell them what to do? Do they say that their hijab is wrong? And why would analyzing the origins of hijab be considered as a way of attacking it or those who wear it? Isn't the beduin culture seen to be oppressive, regardless of hijab? Doesn't this same beduin culture tell women who don't wear niqab that their hijab is wrong?

4- I don't like talking nonesense or aimlessly discussing what is already undisputable.

What makes hijab undisputable? It is not one of the five basic pillars of Islam. Islamic scholars are disputing about it all the time. Different cultures have different definitions of it. What makes it undiscussable? And why would discussing it be a sort of nonesense?

5- This post is only an invitation to reflect on this issue... Hijab is no bondage.. but freezing our minds and trying to force ideas which appear to be free is the great captivity.

I totally agree. And that is why I would rather discuss my point in detail, as I feel like I have been put my mistake into the wrong company. I don't wear hijab. I don't believe it will do me good. I have my own reasons to think that it has many disadvantages. Yet, I never forced anyone to take it off, but the opposite always happens with me. And I never told anyone who agrees with it that it is wrong, although the opposite is always said to me. And I certainly would never judge anyone based on whether or not she is wearing hijab.. again in spite of having been always judged as a non-hijabi. I don't support hijab, but I am not against it, either.

Allow me to defend myself. In saying so, and from now on, I am not addressing Egyptiana. I am expressing myself, and giving myself the right to talk on behalf of others who hold my beliefs, and who are usually misunderstood and accused of joining those who are against hijab in general. Egyptiana did a great job with her post, actually. She displayed three pictures of different women who are covering their hair.

1- A Jewish woman praying:

2- Christian nuns praying:


3- A group of Muslim women awaiting prayers:

I so much believe that "a picture is worth a thousand words". Egyptiana's 3 pictures say that women have been covering their hair regardless of their religion, nationality, or race.

But I would like to add some more pictures to her wonderful collection to aid me in explaining my point. I would ask you to please have a look on the following ones.

4- Buddhist women:

5- Hindu women:

6- Sikh women:

7- Jain women:


8- Parsi Zoroastrian women:

So.. What are those pictures trying to tell us? Can you read them? Apparently, women who follow non-Abrahamic religions also cover their heads, as you see. What does this invite us to conclude? I, personally, believe that this dress code is purely traditional, passed down from one generation to the other.. Just like men in the Gulf who cover their heads with aggal.. or other Muslim men who wear turbans, or 3emma, like men of Azhar.. or those who wear chitral, like Afghani men. Can we call this hijab? Can we force men to wear it, knowing that Prophet Muhammed used to cover his head? I don't think so.

Moreover, it is normal to see a male sheikh who doesn't wear a 3emma nowadays.. although this was completely out of question in the past. Does this make the sheikh who doesn't wear the traditional 3emma guilty in any way? Can we judge him to be less moral or less religious than other sheikhs who do wear it? It is a traditional way of dressing, people. All kinds of clothes are passed down through imitation.. That's what we now call "fashion".

Islam, like all other religions, never told people what to wear. It is a matter of what people decide to wear at a certain time. We are only demanded, men and women, to dress modestly while praying.. like all other religions. A man can not pray in his shorts, although there is no clear or direct verse in Quran to prohibit that. But, logically, measuring on other demands in Quran, we can easily reach this rule. It is the same with females.. who were only instructed to wear moderate, conservative clothes, that won't cause "NORMAL men" (and i insist here on NORMAL) to be seduced.. or invite morally corrupt or sick men to abuse them, or harass them sexually. What was said is clear: Cover those parts that are private.. Don't wear sheer fabrics.. Don't wear tight clothes.. And try to keep away from too much accessories.

These are the demands of God. That's how women were asked to dress according to the Quran, which God declared to be complete and whole. He could have easily told women "Cover your hair" or "Cover your breasts" or "Cover your legs".. But He didn't, because He created this world and He knows that people's habits change from time to time, and from place to place. He didn't care to put a piece of cloth on women's heads. He only instructed them on how to protect themselves and how to avoid sinning by means of (intended) seduction. Accordingly, the choice of outfit was totally left to humans. They decide according to their culture, traditions and times what is considered to be appropriate and what is not. How can God order a Muslim woman who lives in equatorial Africa (in Kenya or Congo or Ughanda) to wear hijab or niqab? She will be committing suicide if she did! Besides, with global warming - which we know is a fact - the Earth's temperature is expected to rise.. which will make poor countries, which don't have proper homes, not to mention air-conditions, a living hell. Don't you think God knows about that? How can He then demand women there to wear the thick black niqab of Saudi Arabia? We all know that women are flogged (in one of the hottest countries during summer) if they don't abide by this dress code. What would please God in that? Do you think their rich women, who are married to the princes of oil, would find any difficulty in wearing this outfit? Those who have air conditioned luxury cars, with chauffeurs.. Those who live in villas with central air conditioning.. Those who wear original brands underneath their black abayas! Would they suffer in any way?

But what about poor women? What about those who can't afford any of those luxuries? Aren't they suffering? What about the old Egyptian women we see waiting for a long time under the hot sun in summer to ride a public bus, or any other means of public transportation? Have you ever seen their red sweaty faces? Have you ever felt how hard it is for them to deal with poverty as well as the summer heat while wearing the veil? What about those wearing niqab? Do you think God is a classist? He should be if He demands something that doesn't require any effort from rich people, while it would make the poor really suffer. Do you think God is a racist? Well, He should be if He truly would punish women in Congo for not wearing the hijab/niqab, and reward women in Russia for covering their hair (which they all do automatically in winter).

Now, we come to the most important question of all. Do you think God is a sexist? If you truly believe that God will never approve of His female worshipers unless they wear hijab/niqab, then that's what you are saying. Because in this way it would be impossible for them to have equal opportunities in life.

First, what is the original definition of hijab?.. Hijab is only mentioned once in Quran, while refering to male visitors who entered Prophet Muhammed's home and wished to talk to his wives. In this case, God instructed that there should be a hijab between them, meaning something that would block their vision, a curtain, so that they won't be able to see the Prophet's wives, who are described by God as being like no other women.

Does this mean that nobody saw either of the Prophet's wives? Of course, not. We know from many history books that those women interacted very normally with their community. The most powerful of them, Aisha, was known to be an excellent scholar, and who told many of the stories about Prophet Muhammed after his death. She even raised an army against Ali ibn Abi Taleb and directed it herself while riding on a camel's back.. Hence, the battle took the name of "Mawqe3at el Jamal" or Battle of the Camel. And there was a huge uproar against her in Basra (where the battle took place) for not respecting God's orders to the Prophet's wives; for she has left her home, and she has overthrown the rule of hijab! Notice that we are talking about Aisha, mother of the faithful.

Now, let's move on to the present time. Can anyone give me one definition of hijab that all Muslims would agree on? I dare anybody to do so.

Each Islamic culture has come up with its own version of hijab and claimed it to be the best of all.

There is the Wahhabi hijab of Saudi Arabia (niqab):

There is the Isdal/Chador of Iran:

There is the Talibani Burqa of Afghanistan:

There is the Khimar:
There is the Egyptian head scarf which covers/uncovers the neck:

Each woman of those thinks she is wearing the right hijab. Each woman of those thinks her hijab is better than the rest. Each woman of those believes that her dress is religious. None of them is right, and none of them is wrong. Nobody can objectively tell who is better than who. Nobody can prove any claim of superiority of one of those styles.

It is enough to show your face down a Saudi street to receive lashes on your back. So, do you think they believe that women who cover their hair and show their faces will enter heaven? Can an Egyptian girl who is convinced with her hijab wear it there? Can she convince them that she is not upsetting God? Can she get the women there to believe that she may be rewarded as well as them in afterlife?

In short.. There is no such thing as Islamic hijab.. There is only traditional/cultural hijab.. The hijab approved by the community where a female lives.. Just like any other set of traditions that she must follow in order to win the respect of her community. In some African tribes, it is normal for women to walk topless in public, while it is shameful to reveal their legs. We may find it strange, we may disapprove of it, but we should respect their culture.. because that is what they believe to be right, and thus is of high value to them.

Many people are surprised that I am not against hijab although I don't believe that it is a must, or that God would put it into consideration while judging my soul. The reason is that I respect the beliefs of others so much.. as long as that's what they are truly convinced with. Moderate secular thinkers are not extremists.. And that is what I meant to say through this discussion of my personal opinion of hijab as a dress code. Moderate secularists agree that a woman is free to wear hijab when it becomes her choice. They respect others' beliefs, even if they disagree with them. They don't pass judgements or condemn others. They don't seek to force women to take their hijab/niqab off their heads/faces.. but they wish them to take it off their minds. Talking about the origins of hijab, or how it found its way back to Egypt, is not an attempt to shake the belief of others. WE DON'T DO THAT. We are the ones being accused all the time of having weak faith. We are the ones who are insulted for questioning human explanations of religion. We are the ones being attacked because we don't wear hijab. Thus, our aim is to let others see things from our side, in the hope that they would be more understanding and tolerant.. not to tell them "you are wrong". The person who aims to force others to adopt his/her ideas is not a secularist. All we want is coexistence. We don't want to be accused of athiesm or lack of ethics. We don't want female secularists to be disrespected or considered to be women of easy virtue. Don't you think it is fair enough?

I said it many times, and I will say it again. Variety is the law of life. Difference will always exist. We have to accept one another without trying to wipe away differences. God could have easily created us all the same. Thus, our ability to tolerate difference is a virtue, and will be rewarded by God. Moderates, whether agreeing or disagreeing with hijab, should always have a quite dialogue based on logic. Disagreement is not equivalent to hostility. We shouldn't be putting any person who disagrees with us in the place of our enemy. We would be losing many good friends if we do so, as well as creating false stereotypes. When we seek to compare views, we should make a balanced comparison. We shouldn't show all those who differ with us as the opposite extreme.

Moderate people, should compare their views to those of other moderate people. You wouldn't like others to say that all those who wear hijab are terrorists, would you? You wouldn't like them to say that those who agree with hijab want to force everybody else to wear it. So, it won't be fair when you use the same way of thinking with others. Always look for similarities instead of difference. What unites us as humans is much much more than any differences between us.

Daughter of Sheikh Hassan Al-Banna, founder of the Muslim Brotherhood, unveiled and wearing make-up

Egyptian Mozzah

The word "mozzah" in the Egyptian slang dialect stands for "sexy chick" or "diva". And when used as an adjective - as in "that girl is mozzah"- it basically means, "she's hot". But the word "mozzah", whether used as a noun or an adjective, is not really a good word in Arabic. Actually, it is a very clear example of how our modern language itself reflects how the Egyptian society views females nowadays. This word is a live expression of all the negative feelings and disrespect that men have in the back of their minds while dealing with women.. even those they find to be attractive or stunning.

Mozzah was initially used by men of lower classes and those who work in manual labor. This particular social group, as you would expect, had a very narrow prespective.. and its view of women was totally physical. Therefore, when a mechanic used to tell his fiancée that she was a mozzah, all he meant was to praise her beauty and her feminine appeal. It didn't sound inappropriate or vulgar at the time. And girls who were considered "mozaz" (plural) usually had lots of confidence, knowing that they are desired by men. That was due to 2 reasons: 1) Those girls mainly belonged to the same social class. 2) The word itself did not use to have the strikingly negative associations it expresses nowadays. Thus, the word existed peacefully in the vocabulary of this group, and was merely considered a bit crude by those who happen to hear it from outside it.

When combined with the possessive pronoun "my", mozzah becomes "mozzeti", which meant my sweetheart (the old term for girlfriend). Men used to tell their male friends in the neighborhood about their emotional commitments, so that none of those friends would have a crush on their sweethearts. The girl labelled as someone's mozzah was in fact protected by this declaration, and automatically conceived of as this person's future wife. Other men usually kept their limits and would never ever attempt to court such a girl or annoy her. By no means could a man dare do that, except if he was an enemy of that girl's boyfriend. By flattering with someone's mozzah, a man was sending a message of open hatred, and his clear aim was inviting her boyfriend to fight. Having said that, I should add that a mistress was never described as mozzah, or given the title of being somebody's mozzah. Men of those classes were very serious about differntiating between girls for fun (easy girls that were notorious for their multiple relationships) and those they truly loved and wished to marry.

That was just a brief "historical" background. Of course I'm kidding.. It wasn't that long ago anyway. What I meant to say is: that was a thing of the past.

Due to the political and economic factors which were altering very rapidly during the previous decades, many social changes took place.. The most observable of which was what happened to the Egyptian social pyramid, causing it to turn up-side-down. This had its huge impact on all the facets of Egyptian life.. And I would have loved to go through them all, except that there is no room for that here. What concerns us, though, is the disappearance of the Egyptian middle class, which used to hold the whole social structure together.. as well as bearing the responsibility of directing the whole society. The middle class - with its well-defined value system, cultural interests, political involvement, and high awareness - is an indespensible component in maintaining balance and deciding the general social frame of any country. Thus, the collapse of the middle class in Egypt led to massive chaos in the social scene.

Hearing the language spoken in the Egyptian street nowadays, one will notice that it is a hybrid mixture of different classes, different cultures, different backgrounds, different languages, that have absolutely nothing in common; neither between one another, nor between them and their original sources. At the heart of this linguistic mess comes the word "mozzah" to summarize the modern social scene with its explicit definition of the current relationship between genders. It sums up how today's patriarchal society thinks about females, and manifests how words receive different meanings according to the prevailing culture/mentality.

The modern use of the word mozzah has absolutely nothing to do with social class. Moreover, it is commonly used by young Egyptian men while talking about females in general.. in a way where the word "female" became actually replaced by the word "mozzah". It is not categorized as an offensive word, in spite of the fact that it is considered as a kind of verbal harassment when it takes the form of a loud remark from a male stranger. Being called "mozzah" while walking down the street is enough to make any girl turn red and run away. The word now has a straight sexual meaning, and it is used for indecent flirting, or at least with a clear aim of embarrassing girls who are chosen to be victims of those loud flirtatous advancements. When used for this purpose, a guy usually follows it by a sound of a kiss, or a wink, or any similar gesture that would stress its sexual connotation and cause the biggest possible amount of embarrassment to his victim.

In casual male conversation, however, "mozzah" can be used to refer to any girl, or to describe a physically attactive babe, or as an indirect way of describing certain seductive features of the female body. The word is seldom used in its possessive form.. and in this case it may refer to the guy's own girlfriend! Yes, you read it correctly.. but it is a way of expressing that the relationship is pure dating.. nothing serious involved. Thus, in fact, it gives the total opposite message that was intended by the original "mozzeti". This time the person speaking is declaring that he does not really care about his mozzah (his girlfriend) . It is anindirect invitation to his friends to consider dating that girl after he gets bored with her, and a green light for those friends if they wish to tell jokes about that girl or exchange any negative remarks about her with her boyfriend!

So, as you have seen, our patriarchal culture has borrowed a word from the low-class dictionary, changed its usage, colored it with various negative paints, made it entirely sexual, and turned it into a weapon against females. Yet, it is not a hidden weapon that circles among men during their private chats.. nor is it condemned by society for its negative implications.. nor is it rejected by the media or movie makers. On the contrary.. It is welcomed into our daily lives and is openly exchanged between people everywhere.. It is now a most used word in Egyptian vocabulary.. and has become closely related to the Egyptian dialect! Now what does that tell you?

The word's influence didn't stop here, though. For as long as the usual scenario goes, whatever is imposed by the patriarchal society is automatically accepted by the vulnerable followers. It becomes a matter of fact. That's exactly what happened with Egyptian females who readily digusted the word as part of their cultural environment. Yes, "mozzah" is undeniably an anti-female word, aiming mainly to humiliate women and destroy their self-esteem. Its purpose is to objectify women and turn them into the purely physical/sexual dolls. They are plainly conceived of as only bodies, made up of flesh that is both desired and despised. A girl gets trapped inside this narrow tunnel.. She has to be mozzah in order to be appealing to men, and at the same time she is humiliated for being one. She has to be objectified twice: as a sexual body, and as an object of verbal abuse.. a source of shame.. a passive recpient of patriarchal violence and hostility.

In spite of all that, Egyptian girls do use the word mozzah in their speech, just like parrots. However, they prefer to live in denial.. and they use it to praise the beauty of each other, or to refer to THEMSELVES when talking about looking exceptionally stunning. For example, a girl might tell her friend that she was a mozzah (looking really good) the previous night, when she was dressed up for a party.. Or she might seek to compliment her friend by telling her that she is a mozzah, instead of saying "you look great". In doing so, girls are responding to the social stress and the constant demand that they should be physically attractive. They know that society wants them to be sexually appealing. And instinctly, those girls need to feel accepted, desired and loved. To achieve that, they are forced to follow the criteria defined by their society. Before anything else, a girl has to be a mozzah. Yet, likewise, Egyptian girls are aware of the lusty, indecent, abusive, degrading, and hostile nature of the word.. That's why in their current vulnerable position, they had to come up with this tactic of self-deceit which enables them to accept the concept of mozzah, while escaping it as a verbal phenomenon. They have reflected their own desperate need for admiration, along with their inability to face the powerful tools which patriarchy uses against them, on the word itself. Just as girls are torn between those two pressures, they split "mozzah" in half. But how far will this self-deceit actually lead them?

To every Egyptian Mozzah reading this: Burying your head in the sand will only make you weaker, more disrespected, more vulnerable, and more shameful. You are not a body, girl. You are not a piece of dilicious meat, or a sexy doll! As long as you don't believe that.. as long as you don't realize that you deserve a better treatment.. as long as you surrender to such assaults and degradation.. as long as you are not ready to stand up for yourself and defend your dignity.. as long as you don't value your mind and soul.. as long as you are following your oppressors.. as long as you don't have the courage to say NO.. as long as you accept being a mozzah.. YOU WILL NEVER BE A HUMAN BEING!

Niqab or Bikini?

I'd like to salute Miss Egyptiana for her recent post which inspired me a lot, especially that it came after I've written about Sabaya café. In her post, Egyptiana poses many questions while attempting to find a suitable comment on a picture featuring 2 girls on the beach, one of them in bikini while the other is veiled.

Actually, it was my intention to write about the issue of stereotyping women in our society, and how this usually takes the shape of a shallow binary opposition. This basically means that women are seen as either black or white, nothing else. If a woman is not what society defines as "white" then she must be "black". The exsitence of other possibilities or mere "grey" is unthought of. A woman is either a saint or a whore.. You are either a wife or a woman looking for a husband.. You are either shy or barefaced (beg7ah).. You are either an angel or a devil.. and on goes the list of opposites.

The most common example of this female binary stereotype, which seems to be so popular nowadays, is the one which assumes that if girls are not veiled, then the only alternative would be for them to wear bikinis!.. Yes.. Don't be surprised when hear this kind of twisted and deformed "logic". In fact, nobody seems to feel ashamed when they proudly present those opposites as the only available choices for female outfits.. It's either the veil or the bikini. So if you happen to discuss a woman's choice in wearing the veil or hijab, you will most probably find someone who instantly asks with much confidence, "Then what do you want? Do you want women to wear bikinis?"

For some of you this might sound like a funny thing.. a kind of silly joke. Or you might think that the person saying this isn't really serious.. But can you imagine that many people believe this to be a serious argument! Not only so.. this kind of belief has shaped the general view of women in Egypt. In fact, the reason behind the rapid increase of veiled women in Egypt, unlike what most people think, has more to do with having a social nature than being driven by a religious conviction. Many (and I am saying many) of the young girls who wear hijab do not actually abide by Muslim daily prayers (which is the second basic requirement in Islam, while hijab is only mentioned in one weak hadith). Muslim women pray at home.. You can rarely find one of them who prays at the mosque. Thus, while prayers are a matter of a private relation between a girl and her creator.. practiced out of people's sight.. hijab is a public statement, announcing to society that the girl who wears it belongs to the "white" category.

Belonging to the "whites" has its many advantages. Needless to say, the best of which is moving away from the other side of the binary opposition system. By declaring yourself a saint, you are protecting your public image.. sending a clear message that you are not the opposite.. That's to say.. You are not the bikini whore. That in itself is a huge benefit. Other minor advantages would include: social acceptance and respect, winning the admiration of men, having a better chance in the marriage market, gaining the trust of the family, relatively having more freedom, fitting into the general female community... etc.

When females responded in such a way to pressures from our patriarchal society which seeks to impose a certain moral system.. one that depends on binary oppositions.. They actually gave this bizaar system a huge credibility.. or I'd rather say, they were the ones who established this system and turned it into a matter of fact. Then more and more females were lured in.. and more were forced to abide by this new social visa. Until we woke up one day to find, for the first time in our history, little girls wearing hijab!

Why does a child have to be veiled? Why is this greeted and welcomed by many people as something positive? Isn't this a vicious murder of innocence? Isn't this a kind of assumption that even a child can be seductive? Why do these people then become so surprised that children (of both sexes) are being sexually molested? It is their own doing.. They have included children into this whole adults' system. Weren't they so pissed off when the ministry of education tried to issue a law preventing primary schoolgirls from wearing the veil at school! Do these adults suppose themselves the only sick people around?.. Of course, not.. There are other kinds of sickness that were being fed by this twisted pratice. Pedophyles loved this kind of declaration.. and it gave them a good excuse for their sickness. Here are some parents who acknowledge that their little girls are sexy! Why then don't they consider pedophyles to be victims who were not able to resist the seductive appeal of those children? Why don't they consider this as an excuse for them, just as they tend to find a justification for men who rape women?!!

Hey, that's not all.. Let me share another tragedy with you. A few days ago, I was shocked to see some of the girls who participated in the Special Olympics this year being veiled!! Of course I was so irritated.. Couldn't believe my eyes.. And all I thought of was "WTF?".. Those are girls who God Himself execluded from all forms of religious obligations. They could not decide anything for themselves, and hence could never have chosen to wear the veil. This is a clear violation of human rights! How could anyone see such a thing without being extremely troubled? What's this for God's sake? Should girls born with down syndrome be held accountable for not covering their hair? Are they supposed to be a source of seduction? Would they also be considered responsible if they were victims of sexual harassment? And would this veil protect them from someone who doesn't show any mercy for their condition? Someone answer me before I go mad! What's going on?.. Why have our people's minds become so fuc**d up?!

It is evident that the idea of binary opposition has become a general rule while dealing with females.. It is taken for granted by the majority of people. For instance, I am no longer able to shop for clothes in Egypt during the summer season.. You know why? Because all the women outfits out there are either designed for veiled women or for their stereotypical opposites.. Yeah, you bet.. they're basically for women walking down the streets in their bikinis! Seems like fashion designers have also adopted this kind of conviction while manufacturing clothes for their female customers. Here's what happened when I went summer shopping for 3 consecutive years.. The first year, 3/4 of the outfits on display were long-sleeved and heel-lengthed. The second year, around 90% of the outfits were designed for veiled women. The third year, I was not able to find a single formal outfit in short sleeves!!

Shop assistant: Any service, Ms.?

Me: Yeah.. Please, can you help me find something with short sleeves?

S.A.:Short sleeves?.. I'm afraid this season all the outfit are long-sleeved.

Me: Oh, yes.. I can see that. The fabrics also are all so thick and heavy.. Are we living in Moscow or something? Am I the only one who feels that summer in Cairo is as hot as hell?!

S.A.: Well.. It's because most of our customers are veiled.. But you can cut the sleeves if you want.

Me: Oh, yeah.. Coz I ain't one of your customers. And what about the fabric? Or wait.. I can make a guess.. You will tell me to buy my own fabric and have it tailored.

S.A.: I'm sorry, Ms. That's all what we have here for now. But there is a shop, not far from here, where you can find what you are looking for.

Me: I know it's not your fault.. I just hope you tell the shop management that they lost one of their "customers" today.

And off I went to the shop she told me about. The window display looked so weird.. But, hey.. I got nothing to loose.

Me: Good evening.. I was hoping to find a short-sleeved outfit.. be it with a skirt or pants.

S.A.: Sure.. Please have a look on this collection and choose whatever you like.

(After turning one hanger after the other in dispair)

Me: Ehhmm.. Excuse me.. I am not looking for beachwear. I'm looking for an outfit to wear at work.. Besides, I don't think any of those would fit a mature woman.. Those are barely for teenagers.

S.A.: Oh, how untrue.. Ms., I want to tell you that we have got veiled customers who buy these clothes.

Me: Veiled customers?!.. Are they done with all the other shops in the city? And how on earth do they wear this stuff? Do they wear it at home?

S.A.: No. They wear it to work, college.. everywhere.. Let me explain.

(She picked a hanger which had a tank top with spagetti straps and a way-above-the-knee skirt.)

See? A veiled girl would wear this with a long-sleeved body and straight pants underneath.
Me: #%*@*?!!!! But why go through all of this trouble while they have got all shops selling clothes that are made specially for them?

S.A.: Some of those young girls want to define their figure, you know. The thick wide outfits don't give them that.

Me: Oh I see.. So they want to cover their hair and define their figure at the same time.. How nice!.. OK, what about those who wish to dress moderately? Where should they go?

S.A.: Why don't you try [the shop I've just been to]?

Me: Actually one of their shop assistants led me here. All the outfits they have are the exact opposite of what you sell here.

S.A.: I'm afraid that what you're looking for is very hard to find.

Me: I already know that!!!!! Ughhhhhhh.. I've been searching for a whole week so far.

S.A.: Hey.. You can ask a tailor to do whatever you want.

Me: Thank you. I really should have done that from the start. Seems that my species have already been extinct, that they don't sell ready-made clothes for us anymore.

I believe the next extremist step would push women further apart in opposite directions.. If this happens, I won't be surprized if comparisons became even sharper. Probably the future binary opposition would suppose that women have only 2 choices.. Either niqab or one-piece bikini!.. No wonder the dilemma that is yet to face our females will be: "To wear or not to wear.. That's the question."

Weddings: The Facts behind the Biggest Conspiracy

How many weddings have you attended during your lifetime? How many of those whose wedding you attended ended up in divorce? Does it make you wonder?

When I was a child, the thought of attending a wedding was so exciting. From the moment I learn from my parents that we are invited to a wedding party, I kept counting the days. I always loved to keep wedding invitations. They looked so elegant and beautiful. To a child, a wedding party is a huge event. You get to see lots of people, who are wearing their best clothes. The whole atmosphere is filled with happiness and joy. The wedding march (zaffah) with the loud drums, singers dressed in uniform, the bride and groom who have an exceptional glow, the typical two rows of guests surrounding the march with clapping and zaghreet (a special cheering sound by which women salute the newly weds), the dazzling light in front of the march which is held by a man walking backwards for video recording, the organized drum beat which is played whenever the couple are to take a few steps forward, all this creates a magical atmosphere that is sure to stick to the memory of children in particular. The married couples themselves need the video tape to remind them of the details of their party. But it is all printed in the memory of the very young guests.

It is a whole other experience for the children, especially girls. I remember waking up on those days feeling the thrill of the big event yet to come. At school, I told all my friends that I'm attending a wedding. I would describe my dress and what I intend to do with my hair. I may be even lucky enough to convince my mother to lend me some blush or lipstick. I would tell them which famous singers or belly-dancers I expect to see (it was common at that time that parents who sent out invitations would let the guests know about the entertainment program). I would even tell them everything I know about the bride and groom whose wedding was to take place that evening. Classes felt a lot longer than usual. They were keeping me back from getting ready for the big event. I still had to go with my mom to the hairdresser, which is usually so crowded on those days (almost all weddings used to be on Thursday night). I would dress up like Cinderella and wear the pair of sparkling shoes which are carefully kept in their box for such events. The party itself was just a fairy tale, and like Cinderella I danced till it was time to go. I couldn't sleep at night without revising every single detail that had happened at the party. I remember (what I thought then to be) nice women wishing me the same luck of the bride (the usual "3o2bal elbanoota" felt so good back then). If the bride was one of my relatives, I keep thinking why she looked so different. I barely knew her in this new hair color and heavy make-up. Why didn't she ever try this make-over before? She looked amazing that night, like a star.

I find it very hard now to evaluate my childish thoughts. Was it good for me back then to live in Wonderland? Could it have been better if things were put in their right perspective? Is it good for a child to live in an ideal world, even if it doesn't really exist? Or is it better for her/him to know the facts from the start? Would I have been that happy back then if I had been realistic? Or it would have been better to save me the shock of discovery later on? No one can tell.

But what I am sure of now, is that it is a crime to be left to maintain this childish view while growing up. The way I see it, leading a girl to keep her idealistic imaginary view of marriage falls under the domain of conspiracy. It is nothing less than that. And should never be taken less seriously.

Yes, parents have the right to be concerned about the future of their daughter/s. Yes, they have the right to dream of her wedding day. Yes, they do have the right to want her to start a family which will grant her social and psychological (sometimes financial) security long after they are gone. It is so understandable. Nobody can argue against that. You always want what is best for your children. But many crimes are committed under this banner, from authoritative upbringing to telling lies to deciding what is right for them.

When you watch TV shows which claim to be searching for answers concerning the reasons behind high divorce rates in Egypt, they just keep bluffing about married couples who are not ready to make compromises. (Of course there are rare exceptions to this rule, but the majority sticks to deciding what is right for you, just like your parents.) They will talk about ambitious girls, whose financial independence may tempt them to risk the stability of their marriages. They will tell you that we lack old social values and family ties. They will do whatever it takes to convince you that a marriage is a sacred union which deserves sacrifice. They can't bring themselves to see the roots of the problem. If the roots are rotten, you can never save the plant. You may prolong the life of the leaves on the surface, but not for so long. Unless you dig your hands into the mud to see what's down there, you are risking massive infection in the whole soil. I find this to be particularly true when it comes to the institution of marriage.

Why do people get married? The answer may be obvious to you. And no matter which words we choose to rephrase our answers, they will all eventually evolve around something like "because it is a human and a social need for mating and forming a socially accepted structure where partners and their offspring are able to exist harmoniously in the wider network of social relationships." This is my own definition, and you may disagree with it. If you find it good enough, then let's examine whether this is what really takes place in reality.

It is clear that we have deviated from the core philosophy behind marriage. When you come down to Egyptian marriages and the way they are managed, you will find that it has absolutely nothing to do with that. In our society, there is a culture which promotes external appearance at the expense of essence and meaning. To explain further, society pushes its members into the direction of adopting an image which satisfies the demands of the bigger picture that society wants to reflect about itself. It is the appearance that matters. You have to mainly photocopy the pattern followed so that you earn a place for yourself among the socially accepted group. There are lots of rewards for those who follow the pattern, while there are severe punishments for those who don't. Even if you agree and believe in the same values, you are no good as long as you don't fit into the frame they decided for you.

As a girl living in the Egyptian society you have a list of requirements that you should follow in case you want to join the club of the "respected norm". Memberships are automatically granted if you are:
Educated but not over ambitious
Obedient to men and elders
Shy and timid
Appear to be religious
Marry young

Why did they include marriage in those requirements? Well, because that's what men want. Men always go for young women, and if you happen to break the rules previously mentioned you are decreasing their choices. If you are not under the pressure of having to get married at a certain age, you probably will postpone that until you reach a certain degree of career stability and financial independence. By then, you will be past the preferred age, and threatening to ruin the marriage market for men. What if many girls were inspired by your achievements? Then girls can easily take the decision to turn down marriage offers at a young age. There can be a time when all brides will be mature women, who have already shaped their beliefs, built a career, and are financially secure and independent. Now, I can assure you that men would rather drop dead before they see such a day. How can a man marry an equal? That's a crisis!

Here comes the biggest cover up in history.. (Believe me this is way beyond The Da Vinci Code.) They have to get you into this white dress before you can think of any better alternatives. Brainwash is a very powerful tool that has proven extremely effective. But in this case, it won't be enough. There has to be real temptation.. Something to get your mouth running.. You guessed it right baby.. It's the wedding. Marriage is all about signing a contract, so why do people spend all this money on extravagant weddings? Have you ever thought of that? Why don't we just sign this contract and go home? What's a honeymoon for God's sake? Why do married couples have to take a vacation and travel? They are married for a lifetime. For sure they will get many chances to travel on official and summer vacations. What makes them run away once they seal the knot?

This entire circus was carefully designed to dazzle pretty young girls. Just like luring a kid with candy, you are being lured by the party, the wedding dress, the new home, the exotic honeymoon, and the respected title of Mrs.("madam" is a very prestigious title in our society). Have you ever thought why only women receive their titles according to their social status? It doesn't make a difference whether a man is married or not. He receives his title according to his profession (doctor, bashmohandes, ostaz,). "Mr." remains unaffected, even if this man married 10 times. He is who he is. Why do you have to change your title because you got married? Why does everybody have to know whether you are married or not? And why do you keep the title even if you are no longer married or widowed? In these cases, "madam" does not reflect the reality. Yet, it is a must that you remain labeled as such. The law states that shops displaying "used goods" must put a label which indicates that, otherwise they will be in serious trouble.

So, what happens is that while a bride's mind is so distracted by so many details, she does not pay enough attention to the man who will fill the place of the groom. It is like a fill-in-the-blanks kind of situation. There is a wedding, which means that there must be a cake, a dress, a guest list, floral arrangements, DJ, and of course a groom wearing a tux.. Oh, Wait!.. I don't want him to wear a bowtie. If he shows up in a bowtie, tell him to forget it.

The period of engagement is supposed to be your final chance to make up your mind about this huge life decision. However, you find that it is all about shopping and reviewing catalogs. I believe it would be more practical if they included a Groom Catalog, cause in such a case the catalog will be responsible for the accuracy of the description written under each groom. A bride-to-be gets completely absorbed into designing the final look for her marriage, who has time to spend with a future husband? She is told that this is a huge advantage. You get to choose everything according to your own taste, that's perfect! But later on, she discovers that the only thing which she didn't really choose according to her taste was the groom himself; the man with whom she should be spending the rest of her life. While engaged, she became an expert in wedding gowns. She can tell you the difference between real and artificial marble. She formed an interesting theory about furniture fabrics. Yet, try to ask her about the groom. You will find very vague adjectives being said, like "He's kind. He's good. He comes from a good family."

We have to admit that the social restrictions which avoid the healthy formation of relationships between different genders has caused many to resort to arranged marriages (gawaz elsalonat), especially with the increasing pressure imposed on girls at a certain age. Eligible bachelors are aided by family and friends in the search for a suitable bride. While on the other hand, parents are doing their best to find a suitable groom before their daughter ends her third decade. There is not much room left for choice here. You never know.. Maybe this groom is your last chance of jumping into the marriage train. Are you willing to take that risk? Can you guarantee that you won't regret turning this guy down? How can you be sure that a better one will find his way to you in the right time? At that point, "a bird in hand" seems to be the wisest idea. Now, let's move into serious details: the apartment, the dowry, the furnishing, the party…etc. And the bride has lots of serious business ahead. Her mother suggests that they start visiting jewelers before the groom surprises them with a certain choice. Of course he will want to save money, but don't worry.. your mother will take care of that. She has a great experience with jewelry that she has been waiting for so long to deliver to you. With her help, you will be able to get the best of the best. Just choose whatever you want. The choice is all yours now. You will make a lot of important decisions. Remember that you only marry once (or so it is supposed to be) so you must pay lots of attention to the dress.. the white dress.. your lifelong dream.. you are getting very close to wearing it at last.

I don't think I have to say more about how the process goes on after that. I've made my point. Marriage has been reduced into a wedding. You buy one night with all the rest of your life. This cultural structure has turned an institution which constructs the building units of society (marriage) into a quest for the white dress. How can a girl survive without the dream of the white dress? What if she never gets to wear the big white dress? Is any girl ready to imagine that? Can she really resist the temptation? Will she be able to realize that this dress can not buy her happiness? Could she truly believe that not wearing it doesn't make her any less than those who do? Bring me a girl who can do this. I want to meet a girl who has a realistic idea about what marriage is. I want to see a girl who can challenge this romantic illusionary tale where everything is white.

The conspiracy targetting girls has served its aim. There are girls who are ready to give up anything in return for the big white dress. Many girls take it for granted that they must get married at a certain age. Many girls follow all social requirements so willingly in order to become the one-night-stars. What if you become Cinderella for one night? Better than never. Even if the fairytale sways its way to Beauty and the Beast later on, they don't seem to care. They know that everything is gonna be alright. "Marriage changes everything," mothers keep saying. "When you live together, many things will improve. Don't worry." So, why bother about getting to know the person? You have a long time ahead of you to do so. Just give yourself a chance. Love comes with time and shared memories. Don't waste your only chance to live your dream of the wedding. Imagine yourself sparkling and receiving greetings from everybody. You will be above the stars. You will never see pity in the eyes of women. You will gain the power and authority of a Married Woman. You will have your own home. You will join the club of the respected ladies who used to be your superiors. You will be one of them. You will get the chance to judge others, just as they used to judge you. You will have the wisdom that only married women get to have. You will be the inspector instead of the inspected. Who can resist that?

I have exposed the full chapters of the conspiracy, and I hence put all the facts in front of you all. In doing so, I am not expecting any girl to change her view of marriage. I understand that the appeal of this fantastic image is much more powerful than any facts related to it. By reading those lines, I am holding you responsible for your fate. It is an innocent trick. Now that you have the knowledge of what lies beneath all those fabulous arrangements and celebrations, you can not return to your ignorant state. You will have to act more responsible towards yourself. Nobody knows what's best for you better than yourself. You know that, and you trust that. So don't deceive yourself into thinking anything else, no matter what. Don't search for a husband to fill the gap in your fairytale. Being a good person does not mean that he is the right one for you. Marriage is not a matter of fact. It is not a bridge that you have to cross at a certain point in your lifetime.

I will now attempt to answer the question I raised in the very beginning. I believe that couples get divorced because our social view of marriage is up-side-down. We want marriage and then we search for the one who will play the role of the partner in this marriage. This is the exact opposite of what our human nature dictates. You have to meet someone who convinces you with the idea of marriage. You have to reach the point when you feel that you want to grow old with this person. You need to feel the emotional and mental bond that is strong enough to suggest the possibility of turning this bond into a marriage. Without that, you will be deceiving yourself. Things can never work the other way round, even if the whole world made this claim. Those who tell you that they loved their husbands after marriage didn't actually have any choice, and can never bring this love to the test. Marriage is not a must in itself. It only becomes a must when you decide that. That is, when you have absolute faith in someone, and you feel ready to take your relationship with him to the next level. When you genuinely believe that you can never go through life without this person, only then can you decide that it is time for marriage. You will then find that everything falls into its right place. You won't need a big white dress. You won't care for jewelry. Furniture and electric appliances will go to hell. The happiness in your heart comes from the thought of sharing your life with this person and experiencing everything together. You will find out that a small wedding with family and close friends makes more sense. Those are the people who really care for you and with whom you can share your happiness. You are ready to start your married life at once to experience what it feels like to live together in your own home. Instead of a honeymoon for once, you will plan all your vacations to be romantic and special. You will then discover that marriage is actually the means serving an end.

Here you have it! You are ready now to be in charge. I exposed all the hidden cards in front of you. Take your pick!