Living in a Patriarchal Society

Throughout human history and in all ancient societies women were a significant driving force in sustaining the development of their community, safeguarding resources, educating youth and ensuring continuity of social, cultural and historical heritage values. Although this role is not explicitly stated in ancient texts, the impact and influence of women is evident by implied symbolism in mythology, as well as the presence of ancient goddesses in ancient religions. For various reasons discussed before, societies gradually changed, and began following the patriarchal rather than the matrilineal model. A closer look at all societies worldwide would lead us to believe that most if not all are now, or were at one point of time completely patriarchal in nature. At one point of time, when physical strength was more important than intelligence, a patriarchal society was the solution to the way society was set up. It was survival of the fittest, and males fought among themselves to achieve dominance. It was not very fair for women, but the harsh living conditions, and aggression of males belonging to other tribes dedicated what was required to survive, and women agreed to live in these primitive patriarchal societies, as a way of ensuring their own survival. Before modern feminism and as far back as the late middle ages, women were not satisfied with their rights in their societies, however their efforts were not organized, so had minimal impact on the status of women in society.



In patriarchal societies, most men felt that they needed to compete together, and women were not even part of the equation. At the same time, women had the additional burden of child bearing, and rearing children which made it difficult for them to advance their status, or their society as a whole. As time passed, and new inventions came up every day, and human's use for muscles decreased. A sudden shift were intelligence became more important than physical strength happened, and women found a place where they were able to compete with men, and sometimes even excel. For the first time in modern history women found their niche... their way of integrating with society, contributing to the progress of humanity, and regaining their previous respected status. The term "feminism" was coined in the late 19th century. The first wave of modern feminism started in the 19th-early 20th century, mainly giving women the right to vote. This was a worldwide movement but unfortunately had very little impact on the middle east ( some countries like Saudi still don't allow women to vote, and when Kuwait allowed women to vote a few years ago, men called television stations complaining that they feel it is unacceptable to "release women out into the streets" to go vote.) Many women began getting an education, but the patriarchal society dictated that a woman's priority should be marriage, usually at a young age, and with marriage came children... one after the other. The multiple children in a short period of time adversely affected women's health, and most were still unable to compete in society, because they had bigger responsibilities to handle, namely their 12 or 13 children! The patriarchal society model was still being followed despite the fact that women and men were of equal intelligence. The real revolution happened with the invention of the birth control pills in 1960, despite the many adverse effects initially found, they adjusted the doses, and found a dose sufficient for birth control without harming women. This is how the second wave of feminism took place in the 60's-80's. This wave involved equalities of laws and of culture. The third wave of feminism is from the 90's until today, and it is mainly a continuation of the work done by the first 2 waves.

By looking at this short history, one can see that with progress, came the chance for women to be treated as equals, so equal rights for women are an equivalent to how civilized a country is, and how far they have come from the primitive patriarchal societies that once existed. You will also notice that women were never given their rights easily, they had to fight and work hard for them. In the world we live in, religion plays a big part of most peoples' life. Everyone wants to follow their religion carefully, so they will eventually be rewarded and go to heaven. The patriarchal interpretation of religion has been a very large obstacle for women, especially because they wanted to stay within the boundaries set by religion, and they never once questioned the interpretation or how certain rules or restrictions were imposed. With progress and the dramatic increase of educated and free thinking women, many began thinking "outside the box". Some people began questioning points they felt were unfair, and they believed that God would never be unfair to the people he created. They started reading, and many came up with conclusions that they believe contradicted earlier interpretations. These women felt that their own interpretations represented God's word and not an ancient ideology of people's mixed interpretations a thousand years ago. They have found that women were grossly underrepresented in religious institutions, and that when a text is open to individual interpretation, it is usually interpreted from a man's point of view, which may be unfair to these women.



Although women are educated about religion just as much as men, and some even graduate from Al-Azhar university with degrees in religion, so their religious knowledge surpasses that of the average sheikh in a local mosque, women have been denied the right to preach religion in mosques, or to lead prayers. Even worse than that is that women are discouraged from, and rarely pray at the mosque. They are told that it is best for them to pray at home, while the men go to the mosque to pray. In the mosques that allow women to come in to pray, women usually are given a small corner in the back, so they pray behind the men. Women are taught that this is their place, and they should never question the validity of this blatant display of misogyny. Some go as far as considering any discussion of this subject as blasphemy. The idea of a woman imam was unheard of and ridiculed. Any woman who dared think of such a ridiculous act was deemed immoral and irreligious. The Hanafi interpretation of Islam allows a woman to lead a female only congregation, but if a male is present, regardless of his age, social status, education or knowledge, he should be the leader in prayer. There is no frank Koranic text that prohibits a woman imam, but again it is the patriarchal interpretation that refuses to see a woman lead in any way, including prayer.
The only hadith that unequivocally states that women may not lead mixed congregations is Ibn Majah (Kitab iqamat is-salat was-sunnati fiha) #1134, narrated through Jabir ibn Abdullah: "A woman may not lead a man in Prayer, nor may a Beduin lead a believer of the muhajirun or a corrupt person lead a committed muslim in Prayer." So again this hadeeth equated a religious pious woman to a corrupt person, or a non believer. The blatant misogyny expressed in this hadeeth is not fit to be a saying of the prophet, who clearly respected women, and one if his sayings actually tells people to learn their religion from 3a2esha. "You can learn half your religion from this rosy-cheeked girl." He therefore encouraged people to consult her in religious matters, and after his death she became one of the major sources of Hadith. It is clear that the prophet respected her opinion, and trusted her ability to preach religion and teach others about it, which is what an imam does during the Friday sermon and prayers. The conclusion is that the prophets actions contradict the saying of the hadith forbidding women to be imams. Religious scholars have also stated that "The eminent scholars of Hadith say that the chain of reporters of this hadith is extremely weak, and hence, it is not to be taken as evidence in the question in hand." In conclusion, no religious text forbids a woman from becoming an Imam in any prayer, or from preaching religious sermons. It is also clear that the one factor that stops women from practicing their religion in the way they choose is society, and the patriarchal ideology that society tries to disguise in a religious form.

In recent years, women have become more active on this front, and many examples can be found worldwide of how women stood up to the decaying old traditions, and attempted to regain their rights which they were originally given by religion. In 1994 a woman named Amina Wadud became the first woman in South Africa to deliver the Friday sermon, at the Claremont Main Road Mosque in Cape town. In 2003, a new venue for Eid prayer was established in Durban by a group of individuals and was later taken on by an organisation called Taking Islam to the People . To date there are 5 women who offer the Friday sermons at this venue. In Canada in 2005 and 2006, many women preached on Fridays, and led mixed gender prayers. These events were organized by The United Muslim Association in Toronto, Canada. This organization is determined to continue this practice of having women delivering the sermons and leading prayer.The United States also has its own activists, who started in March of 2005 to lead prayers, despite the uproar of the assembly of Muslim jurists of America, who issued a fatwa banning the practice, totally disregarding religious facts,and acting only based on their patriarchal ideology. The women also received bomb threats, and the venue where the prayers were to be held was changed to avoid violent extremist reactions. These events all took place in non Muslim countries, who gave these women enough space and freedom to practice their religion in ways they felt was acceptable to God's words.


The sad part is the events in "Islamic" countries, who have the available resources of understanding religion, and speak the very language the Koran uses to teach Islam. In Bahrain in 2004, a 40 year old woman attempted to deliver the Friday sermon in one of the biggest mosques there. This took place on the last Friday of Ramadan. The would-be Imam was wearing full male dress with an artificial beard and moustache. The mosque was packed with 7000 worshippers. When she sat in front of the people just before she was to deliver the sermon, some worshippers realised that the new imam was a woman in disguise. They and the mosque's imam, Sheikh Adnan Al-Qattan , handed her over to the police who arrested her. The reaction of the worshippers as well as that of the police was uncalled for. This is in addition to the fact that the voice of a woman working alone can never be loud enough to impact a patriarchal society. Had this woman had enough support from her peers, she would not have had to resort to drastic measures to practice a right she believes that she has. Had the worshippers been more open minded and more respectful and understanding, they would have discussed the matter with her rather than called law enforcement. Had the police officers enough respect for women, they would not have arrested her for attempting to deliver a sermon in a mosque, which is not an illegal act.
In India, a Muslim woman named Daud Sharifa runs a 3,000-strong network to help Muslim women. She believes that a mosque for women is one way of relieving the many sufferings of Muslim Indian women who have to submit to "community rulings" of mosques which are run by males, and women have no say in how the rulings are made, women are also not allowed to enter most mosques in the area.. Many of the women feel that the rulings are biased against women who have been divorced, abandoned and mistreated by their husbands. The mosque is basically run by women, but prayers are open to everyone. Although this is not against God's teachings, it has caused an uproar from religious figures. After this news was published on an Arabic website, the reactions of the Muslim men were astounding. They have ranged from outrage to anger to redicule and insults, with very few supporters.

My conclusion is that in order for women to live free and have equal rights in our society, religion has to be understood in its true form, devoid of any patriarchal or misogynist ideology. Then, and only then will men support the rights of their mothers, sisters, wives and daughters. This will only be accomplished if women stand up for themselves and their beliefs, and never give in to a society that undermines their efforts or initiatives. It will also work only if women are united so their voices can be heard. {13:11 Truly, God will never change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls)} .

Men of the World.. Get Lost

In an earlier post I've discussed a book which prophecized the end of the male species. This time, however, I am not discussing the biological failure of males and the need for them to extinct for environmental balance. I'd rather talk about the social side and why societies have deteriorated whenever they were male-dominated.

Far far long ago, societies were all led by the female, that's what anthropology teaches us. A woman was the leader of her tribe, which mainly consisted of her family members and children. This was the early beginning of what later on was to be called "society". A female leader was able to protect her tribe, organize its life, nourish it, and teach it different skills. She would never think about harming anyone from another tribe. She would never think about making men slaves for the women of the tribe. The idea of ownership itself was not there. Resources were out there given by nature for everybody. (Politics would later on define the need for ownership and struggle to be due to the growing number of people as opposed to limited resources, but that's not our issue here.) What I'm talking about is a point in time when women led their society and were successful, but had no greed or control aims.

Now, what happened later was that men would always look at the land of their neighbours, the cattle they had, the crops, the women ..etc. Then they would go and fight with them to get it by force. The idea of ownership then evolved, there came to be the concept of "this is yours and this is mine". In this new world view, and as men were the ones whose job was to steal things to make them their own, including women of other tribes, they decided that they should rule the members of their new communities.

In the old system, a woman definitely knew her children because she was the one who gave birth to them. On the other hand, a man didn't know his possible connection to those children, he would sleep with a woman and move away, nine monthes after she gives birth without understanding that this man played any role in creating them. But in the new system, women had to convince the man that her children are his also, to be able to protect them and provide for them. He now owns everything and he leads the tribe, so the fate of those helpless children lies within his hands. But how can she convince him that those children are his??

A clever woman then came up with the idea of naming her child after his father, and she would go to him and say this is your son, his name is your name, he is yours, you own him. The idea appealed to men of course. This new system now also enables them to own human beings who hold their names and who can help them in their domination plans (fighting, stealing, building new shelters). Men came to see children as an advantage, and would be kind to women who bring them lots of children. They then would own the mother as well, she is the factory of their own kids and noone else can share her. A man has to be sure that he is raising his own blood, so if the mother of his children happens to play around she is kicked out of the tribe and her children would not have his name.

Now what's next?.. accordingly, the idea of pure blood became an obsession and women were confined to their tribes. They will not to go on trips as they used to in the old days. They can't go to explore the land or plant the seeds as they were used to. (By the way, women were the first who discovered the secrets of the soil and planting, they are the ones who invented agriculture.) So, men were given all the jobs that required outside cruising. They would also plant and they would bring the crops home for the women to store them and prepare daily meals. Women stayed home to give birth, feed their babies and their cattle. What an interesting life!

But how successful were men in leading their societies? Well, this system is what we now call the patriarchal society, where men lead and dominate everything, leaving almost no room for anybody else. This full domination came to control women not only physically, but intellectually and psychologically as well.

Patriarchal societies lack lots of human values, like equality, justice, respect for the other, freedom, democracy, beauty, peace, tolerance, and many others. As I've previously discussed in my post "Power, Politics and Gender", men have proved to be control freaks. They would stop at nothing to fill their greed and lust, no matter who they crush in the process. They are drunk with power and they don't care if the whole world would turn into flames as long as they will stay stand on the top of the heap of ruins. They don't believe in evolution and the changes happening around them. They want to freeze everthing around them, as if it is a DVD movie that they can pose on the image of Si Sayed. They want to keep on enjoying all the advantages without ever sharing them with anyone else. They raise their sons to become the same dictators and they raise their daughters to become slaves, so that their cycle of control and oppression will never be broken. They brainwash the women in order to make them believe that they can do nothing better in life than to serve them and their children.

Everywhere you go there are men telling you what you should do. They design the syllabus at schools, they are the priests at church and the sheikhs in mosques, they are the controllers of media, they are the movie producers, they are the song writers, they are the historians, they are blocking every tiny space that would allow you to see the light.

In order for our societies to evolve those men should get lost and allow us some air. They've already done much damage with their blind desire for control. Don't wait for them to throw all of this long history and to break the vicious cycle of their grandfathers out of good wills. THEY WON'T. Like all the dictators, they won't leave their thrones or quit their oppressive ways until they die. The only way to change such a system is a revolution, a revolution that would set things right.

But some naive women are waiting for men to make this revolution for them. Imagine how silly and lazy some women have become!! Have you ever seen a master make a revolution for slaves? When will we wake up? When will take our destiny into our own hands and change this bleak picture? If not for us, let it be our gift to the coming generations who don't deserve to find the world the way we found it. For their sake let's say, "Men of the world, Get Lost!"

Men Out of the Jungle

The jungle is the ultimate male paradise. That's their perfect environment. They can't live away from the wild life of hunting, adventure and making use of their physical strength. That's what makes them feel satisfied and proud. That's where they can attain their maximum achievement and pleasure. Men just want to struggle with beasts and hunt them for food. A man needs to fight with another man over a beautiful woman to see who is more macho and deserves the prize! That's how their barbaric nature prevents them from enjoying civilized life, where a person is valued by his brain not his muscles! They just can't take it. I sometimes feel pity for those who can't accept the idea that jungle days are over. Now, they can't jump from tree to tree, or from woman to woman. They can't go out exercising their physical strength and coming home with the broken arrow of their opponent. They can't go hunting to prove their bravery and receive cheers from the hungry members of the family waiting for food. All the good old days of fun are over.

But men won't accept this fact. They still live in this myth that they are the savers of the world and the protectors of half its population, that is the weak helpless creatures called women. Oh, how will women survive without those strong fellows, with their solid bodies and loud roars which drive the enemies away? How can we just go about in life without a man by our side to protect us from harm?

They can't believe that we don't live in caves anymore. You can easily go to rent or buy an apartment with a solid door and reliable lock. There is a nice service called police to report the evil guys and have them put in jail. There is a civil society where people work in offices using what they learned and what their mental skills enable them to do. The best people in this society are the most successful and most creative, not the strongest or the bigger built! Hunting and wrestling became games for leisure and not a way to make a living! Women choose their partners according to rational and emotional reasons. They don't want you to hunt for them to enjoy your imaginary victory. If a woman chooses you, it's not out of your clever crafting and endless stalking, it's simply because that's her decision. She may allow you some time to perform all the games you learned in the jungle, just for her amusement and for satisfying your empty ego. She may then complete your myth by telling you all the things a caveman wants to hear: "You are my first love," "You are the best man in the world," "You are the only one who won my heart," ... bla bla bla.

Men complain cause women are not straightforward or cause they lie to them. Well, you live in an imaginary world and you refuse to get down to earth and live as a human. If a woman gets promoted at work, you go crazy. If a woman is brave enough to let you know that she is interested in you, your hunt is ruined and you leave her for a difficult chase (or what you want to think is a difficult chase). If a woman speaks her mind freely, you think she's easy and treat her with disrespect. If a woman says she doesn't need protection, you imagine her as the star of a porn movie.

I'm so sorry to see that men can't adapt to their new lives outside the jungle. But I also warn that we shouldn't deceive them by making them believe that jungle rules still control our lives today. Leading them on has had its disasterous effects on society as a whole. I know that they will have a psychological shock when they face the truth, that their only advantage (physical strength) is useless in today's world. A tiny gun can kill a thousand men. A woman can protect herself well enough without a bodyguard. And switching from one woman to another is called cheating in all the world's dictionaries. Sorry guys.. You'd better cope with it.

A Must Read

Specially for all those who didn't like what I said about female genetic superiority. I'm talking science here. This book is by Brian Sykes, Professor of Human Genetics at the University of Oxford. In Adam's Curse he shows how men as species are on their way to extinction, because the Y chromosome which a father passes to his son, is simply a genetic mess, which keeps deteriorating from one generation to the next. The result.. YES, a future without men, but unfortunately not soon. And in his words, not mine, he concludes that "men are biologically unnecessary". He also shows how female species in general are more adaptive and productive to their environments. Some organisms combine both the male and female, while others live half their lives as male and then switch into a female, and these defy extinction more successfully than other species, particularily the male creatures.

As for the future of humanity, Sykes shows how as a result of natural mutations which take place as a part of the evolution cycle, the Y chromosome will grow too weak to inherit. Thus, there will come a generation which will only give birth to the species which survives best, females. But until nature gives us this gift, we girls shouldn't go on repeating words which men have taught us. Yes, life was meant to be a harmony between different sexes, but one of them broke the balance by his crazy desire for domination and destruction (This is also mentioned in chapter 21 of Sykes' book). As a result, he became a burden on natural balance and harmony, and he desrves to loathed by natural forces that he didn't respect in first place.

We can keep writing poems about how life is supposed to be. Please spare me. Bring us back to Earth! How do men actually treat us? Do they consider us as their equals? Do they respect our humanity? Do they believe that we are the same? Come one.. Who are we fooling? We are only fooling ourselves. We live in denial, which consumes years and years of our lives trying to bring a balance that doesn't really exist. That's why, as long as men are the way they are, we can't waste our precious lives in a hopeless attempt to search for the one in a million who is different. Move on, work on yourselves, succeed, believe in you abilities and your independence.

I got this book from Al Shorouk bookshop. You don't have to order it online. I believe you can also find it at the AUC bookstore. Buy it and read it. Get real!