Monday, September 3

A Must Read

THE FEMININE MISTAKE: Are We Giving Up Too Much?
By Leslie Bennetts

“The Feminine Mistake” is an energetic call to mothers to stay in the work force and earn their own living — or suffer the consequences. It's been featured in the New York Times Bestsellers' list.
Bennetts rallies numbers and logical reasons to her cause:
1. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and while a man’s standard of living actually rises after divorce, a woman’s falls.
2. The average age of widowhood is 55. Women live longer than men, yet typically have far less money for retirement.
3. Even a brief timeout reduces a mom’s earning power.
4. Child-care concerns fade as quickly as children grow up, but lost career momentum is gone forever.
As Bennetts asks, “If your husband divorces you or drops dead, was it really such a great idea to stay home if you can’t afford to buy groceries to feed your kids?”
This ambitious book sets out to replace choice feminism (the revisionist view that says as long as women are happy with their decisions about balancing work and motherhood, it doesn’t matter what those decisions are) with the ethos that giving up paid work is not just another legitimate option among many, but a serious error. Bennetts hopes to sidestep the emotion that has dominated the debate and persuade women to change this self-destructive behavior.

I certainly hope to see a book like this on the Egyptian Market. We truly need to help women resist the societal pressure which drives them to quit their jobs.


اجندا حمرا said...

my dearest fantasia

yeah we really hope such a bok be in the egyptian markets soon

working women such a must nowadays for independancy and security u know marriages nowadays not secure at all plus women should have their own income and i hate it when husbands forces their wives to pay some bills against their will
and what annoys me more when i see a healthy husband staying at home wanting his wife to work wee tesref 3leeh

Fantasia said...

dear agenda,
I totally agree with you. Nowadays we have a very high divorce rate. Almost 3/4 of my married friends got divorced. In this last year alone, 3 of them were divorced. They all had jobs, except one who chose to quit after living far from her workplace. She is the one having most troubles, of course.
People in Egypt tend to encourage girls to quit their jobs for marriage. A very strange attitude that I really don't understand. Parents usually care about the big mo2akhar, as if this is what will secure their girls financially in case of divorce. And then when she goes for divorce, she either gives the money up in order for the husband to let go, or she spends the money as to pay a single school bill for her children. She's then sinking in debt, and is forced to become dependant on her family once again. Even if she goes back to work, she holds a junior position which doesn't cover up her financial demands at her present age.
I certainly wish that women would become more rational and would consider the amount of destruction they are imposing on themselves when they decide to stay at home.
As for the husbands who choose to stay at home, I have absolutely no problem with them, if they agree to do the housework and get the treatment that a housewife gets. But of course, they rely on their male superiority and they just use their wives as servants working outdoors and indoors to fulfill their demands. Those are sick people. But you're seeing them a lot these days.
Thanks for your valuable insights.

The Alien said...

most girls here leave their jobs to marriage even when they are very successful and i do know examples for this. the problem is that all the dreams and hopes ends with marriage, girls here think and plan for their lives, but when marriage comes, they give it all up.
the default here is that if a man can support the family needs then there is no need for his wife to work. that what they always say: "why do u want to work, u have everything".

when devorce or death happens, it is not easy for a woman to go back to work. she will start from the begining while she is responsible for a family.

girls must understand that being independent is for her own sake.

Fantasia said...

Thanks so much for your comment. This is exactly what I am talking about in the other post "Desperate Housewives". May be the pic was misleading, some people thought I'm writing about the TV series. You'll find lots of analysis there.

Egypt Rose said...

I'm buying this Book form Amazon now and i will read it and talk about it in my bolg and my classes as I have to do oral presintation soon.
Thank you for the idea, you are the best, and I hope we can be more close freinds, I will be happy if you send me emails for more talk.

Fantasia said...

dear egypt rose,
Glad to be of service. I am so happy that you found this post and this book to be useful. And I'll be so happy to get to know you more to exchange views and readings as well. Check your inbox for my email.

د /إياد حرفوش said...

Dear Fantasia,

The basic thrusts of the book is definitely right. Yet, people are different. Some ladies hate to have 2 focus areas, these who do not work with their own free decision. Others do like having 2 focus areas. Then they keep their careers. People are different, Right?

Fantasia said...

dear eyad,

i believe it has nothing to do with focus areas. the way our society have divided the male/female roles is so distorted. women are raised to believe that having a job is a male thing and that they enter the job market as intruders. The value of work itself is absent in our society. People see work as punishment. You should have observed how Adam's descent on Earth was seen as a punishment, and how his punishment on earth was misinterpreted in our religion to be labour, that is work in general. So, it's no wonder to see people around trying to escape work. Females particularly are encouraged to stay home based on this myth, that a job is a hateful thing.

On the other hand, women who stay home are not idle. They do housework for all their family members, thus taking the job of a maid. Men dispise housework and consider it something so beneath them, although it involves life skills: cooking, cleaning, washing.. things that you need to do to sustain your life. They think that by avoiding housework they are being masters. That's where the big problem is, cause this thinking means that a person who agrees to do this job is an inferior or a slave.

So, in order for women to sustain the life of all the members of her family who refuse to do their own laundry or make their own beds, she takes the job of the maid, offering her services for free. For her to take work 2 jobs: one paid and another unpaid is not a multi-focused task, it is a supernatural one. This is yet another technique of weakening women in society.

"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid" - Audre Lorde