Your Guide to Dating an Egyptian Man

Types of Egyptian Men:

The Pathetic Pretender
All men are pretenders. They usually show a face which hides its total opposite. They can't show their true colors, cause they are too weak to do so. Their inflated egos are another reason why they are never straight. They simply can't take rejection. That's why they would go round and round before they express their interest in you. They just can't handle it if you say Thanks, not interested. They take it as a personal insult. How dare you reject him? That's why they just keep wasting time, and when things don't work, they come up with all the pathetic excuses to ease their ballooned egos! Poor Bastards!

The Lousy Actor
He plays the most horrible romantic roles while his eyes are on the prize. If you are still as naïve as to think that there is really a romantic guy, like those you see in movies, then I'm sorry to break the news. Just as there is no Santa, there is no such a man. I happened to be buying some stationary on Valentine's Day when I met a guy who is so full of himself. He just stepped in and said to the vendor, I want something nice, beautifully wrapped and doesn't exceed 20 EGP! He then moved on to talk to his friend, and whenever the vendor called on him to ask his opinion about an item she holds in her hands, he just waves to her and says Anything, anything. And to complete my amusement, his poor girlfriend called while he stood right in front of me. They seemed to be confirming their Valentine's date, and he just kept pouring words of how he can't wait to meet her and how special she is. Yeah, hell..

The Mentally Retarded
I said all men are pretenders; I don't have to repeat it on every line. Those cavemen who hold the brains of their great great great grandfathers are usually the ones who keep talking about daring subjects and radical thoughts. They will take about women rights and how girls are misunderstood, bla bla bla.. Only so you wake up on the ugly reality: he is mentally sick! He wants to believe that he has his own personality, but he is empty, just parroting stuff that he knows would appeal to a stylish girl. As things develop he will won't stop giving you one cultural shock after another. Black comedy!

The Featherless Peacock
Oh, the guy who fell in love with himself, therefore he has no room for anyone else. He just thinks that he's God's gift to the world. However, you'll shortly find out that this peacock has no feathers. His personality is as lacking as his mind. He might look handsome, be popular, athletic, funny, but with no brain. Just a useless bird which can't even fly!

The Know-it-all
Many of you have seen him. A talking machine about almost every topic that anyone can think of, he will never stop proving that he is Mr. Know-it-all. And therefore he imposes his views, decides for you, criticizes your actions and thoughts, interrupts your conversations, makes fun of your ideas, undermines your success, and would never admit you were right about anything. He constantly feels he is in a competition with you before anybody else. He will do anything to make you live in his shadow, and will give you no chance to speak up your mind. He is scared whenever you show any sign of intellectual freedom or independence, cause he wants to be your one and only reference. He is never sick of giving advice which he takes for granted that you must follow. Ugh, what a pain in the ***!

The Boring Stalker
Most guys will bore you to death after the first few dates. After the talk about themselves is over (which they do persistently and quickly to satisfy their egos) they will just keep talking about anything. Yeah, those who say girls are talkative try to see a man on a date. I bet you to catch a glimpse of the girl talking. The talking won't stop by the end of the date. No, no, it just keeps getting worse. Phone stalking.. Good morning calls, good afternoon calls, good evening calls, good night calls, how do you do calls, did you reach your home calls, what are you doing now calls. Calls, calls, calls.. Endless calls.. And even more calls.. SMSs all day long.. He will keep stalking you all day in this way. He feels that if he leaves you for one hour, you might have time with yourself when you will think and maybe evaluate the relationship. So, he has to distract you all the time. He wants to make your whole day revolve around him, in the hope to make you addicted. Then if there is a day when one of the 1000 calls didn't arrive you will go insane, and that's how he can cut you off the drug as punishment whenever he wants. Who needs this for God's sake?

The Perverted Preacher
The double-faced serpent, who will preach about morals and values while he enjoys himself in the dark.. He is mostly the one looking for a serious relationship. He will use a serious voice tone, talk about religion, about his dream of a happy family, about how disciplined he is. This is a type that is very common nowadays, especially with most girls now being veiled. He thus gains her trust and then demand further things: no male friends, no female friends whom he thinks aren't good enough, no going out without his permission (Yeah, he plays the role of her father), no clothes that are tight, (I even heard an incident which included no internet!) and on goes the list of orders. If she shows to be obedient, he might be generous enough to make her Mrs. Perverted Preacher. This poor girl will only find out about his other life too late.

The Loser
He never attends his classes, never reads a book, never reads a newspaper, never talks about anything of subject, and never intends to do anything serious with his life. He's the dandy cool guy, who throws tomorrow behind his back. He will switch from one girl to another just to pass the time. If a serious girl ever decides to have a relationship with him, he will have absolutely nothing to offer her but disappointment. You can never ask him about the future. The word "plan" doesn't exist in his dictionary. And time is of no value. He just wants to have fun (as opposed to Cindy Lowper's famous song). You will be gloomy if you keep reminding him of his failures. He will never change. And if you marry him, get ready to afford for him and raise him up with your children. He will never grow up and no matter how old he gets, he will continue to be an irresponsible kid. With the number of losers increasing, a lot of recently married couples depend on the wife as the bread earner.

The Thief
Today's thieves won't snatch your purse, they will try to date you instead. It is amazing how many couples I know in which the girl allows herself to be robbed by her boyfriend! She will pay the bills at the cafes, buy cinema tickets, get his mobile recharge cards, lend him cash, buy him clothes, gets him presents … etc. Sorry girls, but your boyfriends are only thieves! To avoid this early enough never date a guy who is socially beneath you in first place. Watch out for any signs of miserly behavior. If he takes you to cheap places, orders the cheapest items on the menu, rings you to call him back, use his work phone to call you during the day and avoids evening calls, makes up excuses for not attending events or buying presents... etc. Never offer to pay a bill in full. Never buy him expensive gifts. Never ever give him your credit card!

A Combination of Two or More of the Previous Types

Thought it was bad enough so far? No, it just keeps getting worse!

As you can see, it is like a cat searching for dinner in a trash can. Whatever she ends up with, is still trash!